How does being blazed out and dipped head to toe in cannabis sound?
CannabiSpa DC is a holistic cannabis immersion experience far beyond a typical massage. Their novel take on Initiative 71 is to provide a complete therapy session in your own home (or hotel, for you canna-curious tourists visiting the Nation’s Capital) that begins with vaporizing marijuana flowers, followed by a relaxing massage using proprietor Purvis’ own topical lotion blend, made from his own home grown cannabis, finishing with another vape session.
The whole thing was so delightfully luxurious. Your Gentleman had to indulge.
So they’ve got a website where you can book appointments with a range of time and massage style options to choose from, such as the standard Swedish, Deep Tissue, Sports, or Thai. If you’ve never had a Thai massage before, your muscles are in for a treat, but it can be a bit rough when done properly. I went with the standard Swedish therapy session, as my neck got jacked up somehow earlier in the week. There appears to be a discrepancy between the minutes of the massage and the total minutes- this is to account for the extra time needed to set up and blaze you out. Prices range from $130-$210 depending on the amount of time booked, and these rates are competitive with other in-home upscale massage options (I checked).
The pair arrived on time. Purvis accompanied the female masseuse that works with male clients along with a fairly extensive menu of a half-dozen strains to choose from. Indicas are typically featured but they have sativas and hybrids, too. I went with the Power Plant to knock another big name off my strain bucket list, and this sativa proved a good choice. After two full balloons from their Herbalizer portable desktop vaporizer, I was already feeling more relaxed. It was a very cool, self-contained unit with impressive power similar to my Arizer Extreme Q but clearly built to travel. I pulled tasty, thick clouds one after another. The use of the vape is a purposeful decision, Purvis explained, as you can target specific cannabinoids & terpenes based on their specific boiling points using the temperature control available with higher-end vaporizers (which you obviously can’t do with a lighter). Whether or not it’s healthier for you than smoking is a subject of much debate, but it is unquestionably easier on your lungs and the smell is different, far more muted than burning ganja in your home. If you’re worried about that sort of thing.
After a few minutes of chatting, the massage table was set up and we were ready to begin Phase 2 of the CannabiSpa experience. Soft music is set up through the phone speaker/dock they brought along; the lights are dimmed. Purvis exits and my therapist invites me to relax face down on the table. The position highlighted the tension in my lower back immediately. The influence of the calm, upbeat Power Plant keeps my mind active, but wandering, daydreaming as my masseuse went to work. She kneaded my muscles expertly, hitting the sometimes neglected spots with care (the hands, the feet, and the sinuses), checked in often regarding the pressure, and happily made small talk along the way. The Power Plant made me a bit chatty, in fact. I’m going to have to try that again.
The topical is left in to enrich the skin, which felt younger, tighter, and hydrated after the treatment. Then it’s time to infuse synapse and sinew with vaporized cannabinoids again. Splendid! Protip- the body needs time to recover properly after a strong massage, so be sure to drink plenty of water and get a good night’s rest after- or you could end up worse than you started.
I was greatly impressed with the lush cannabis therapy session CannabiSpa delivered directly to my living room, a unique extravagance available only here, the unregulated wilds of the first East Coast city to legalize marijuana for adult use. The combined rewards of cannabis and massage are remarkably rejuvenating and it’s easy to see this niche becoming the future of massage therapy as legalization expands. The Gentleman recommends you try it out for yourself so you, too, can have the smug hipster satisfaction of being cool before cool knows what cool is.
Speaking of! Here’s some super chill tunes to enjoy during your massage. Vera Blue’s Fingertips EP made the Gentleman’s 2016’s rotation more than a dozen times. Here’s “Settle.”