We’re gonna scoot back to Denver today and review some of the fabulous Purple Rockstar Terp Jelly from Double Black Extracts that I purchased at Local Product of Colorado. This dispensary was one of the highlights of my trip as it was the only place I found some flowers that had enjoyable scent profiles. And since it was Friday night when I visited, I scored a full eighth of their Mob Boss for twenty-five freakin’ dollars. Incredible!
But first we gotta talk.
Today is Fuck The Cable Companies Trying To Steal The Motherfucking Internet AGAIN Day. You saw a lot about Net Neutrality on your favorite sites already, I’m sure. But since I’m your very favoritest website in the whole world, maybe I can convince you to take a few seconds to tell the FCC (now headed by a fucking telecom lobbyist because, uh, Drain the Swamp, right?) to get their DAMN GREASY HANDS OFF THE INTERNET!
This is important. You like my site, right? Me, too. Minimal ads, totally non-invasive, no damn teeny x you’re gonna miss and end up on some Hot Russian Girls Want to Speak With You website by *ahem* accident, sure, sure. You don’t have to convince me, Jack. I’m not asking to track your location, send alert notifications, and you don’t have to buy or sign up to anything (but you can do both if you want- I’m into it, baby). I’m your buddy. The crazy, laughs-too-loud-at-inappropriate-times buddy that your wife doesn’t like you hanging around with, but I’m still your buddy, guy.
But if Net Neutrality wasn’t a thing, then GentlemanToker.com would have never got to this point, because you wouldn’t have been able to find it and it’d be too slow when you did. You’d be stuck with bigger sites that can afford to pay the cable companies big bucks- y’know, the guys that do all that kinda crap listed above, if they’d even touch on the hot mess that was the District of Columbia cannabis legalization rollout. It’d be a dozen banner ads selling you horse-grade CBD plus one paragraph of shoulder-shrugging. And if Net Neutrality goes away, it’s gonna make getting to the next step of global domination a whole lot more difficult.
Your Gentleman popped into Local Product late Friday evening. It’s next door to a florist, which I found amusing. An adjacent parking lot makes this cozy shop quite convenient and perhaps that’s the reason there was no wait. I was ushered right in and was very pleased with the bright lighting- ya can’t inspect buds in the dark- as I made my way toward one of the friendlier ‘tenders I got to work with on this trip. She was happy to indulge me as I sniffed a half-dozen or so jars out of a fairly wide selection. The price, as I mentioned in the intro, was definitely right at $25 an eighth.
This triche’d-out Mob Boss is a jump kick to the frontal lobe, an intense heady rush that gets my thoughts jumpin like a flea circus. The effect isn’t overwhelming but it is difficult to concentrate. My body feels up, alert, and ready to go. The sweet, woodsy smell produces a fairly smooth smoke but what to do with that buzz? Hmm, perhaps a walk around the lake?
I was impressed with their concentrate selection, as well, and this was the only dispensary I stopped in that carried Double Black Extracts. This Purple Rockstar Kush Terp Jelly is an absolute delight. And- only $46.75 for a gram. That seems quite fair after some of my *ahem* other Denver experiences. The terps on this Purple Rockstar Kush will absolutely knock your socks off. This jelly smells like fresh squeezed lemons. But wait til you dab it!
Straight up face melter. Double Black Extracts’ Terp Jelly is so potent I intentionally take a smaller dab than usual and still end up crawling into bed within thirty minutes- if I make it that long. I can dab it first thing in the morning and stay awake but I can’t think my way out of a wet paper bag. I bet a nice cuppa joe would even things out nicely but that’s too much caffeine for me these days. No worries, a strong sleep aid always has a place in my medicine cabinet. A princess needs her beauty rest, after all!
So. Your Gentleman highly recommends all three of the following:
- Local Product of Colorado and their flowers
- Double Black Extracts’ Terp Jelly
- Net Motherfucking Neutrality
C’mon, it only takes a second to stick up for your right to an open internet. And it’s worth that second, each and every time those avaricous jackals try to take it from us. Trust your White Rose on that, Mr. Robot.