Well, well. It’s Friday night (or at least it was when I started writing) and you are probably out doing something, like waiting in line to sit in the Iron Throne at that trendy pop-up bar so you can post a picture on Instagram and people will know you’re a fun and outgoing person and want to sleep with you, probably. It’s fine, you go on ahead. I’m far too hopped up on Blue Diesel and Red Diesel from one of my favorite DC delivery brands, Da DoGooders, to deal with traffic or queues or quietly observing a swell of drunken human flesh grasping at each other in futile, sweaty hope. Your Gentleman will be waiting for you here at home, quietly knitting you a warm pair of fuzzy socks, because winter’s not far off, and I don’t want you to catch cold, dearie.
I am also hopped up because, I don’t know if you caught it (are you reading my News page? It’s super cool, I shoulda been aggregating DMV cannabis news this whole time), but I WAS PROFILED IN THE WASHINGTONIAN! Finally! A story all about ME and how awesome I am all the time. What a milestone, eh? See, your support of my blog has been rewarded, and you now have verified hipster credentials for reading me before I was cool. Plus they took a photo of me, which will make a lovely centerpiece in your stalker-board and one I will certainly appreciate when you inevitably go all Kathy Bates, proclaiming your undying devotion with a sledgehammer, insisting I publish your homoerotic Harry Potter/Boba Fett fan-fiction. Good times, baby! Super duper thanks to Courtney Vinopal and Evy Mages. Go read it! But come back soon, I worry so when you’re gone.
Right, on to the weed. Very pleased with Da DoGooders’ flowers, as usual. The beautiful, fresh buds are both covered in small trichomes, but striking in their physical differences otherwise. The burnt red hairs coursing through Red Diesel exude intensity, while the light orange shocks in the Blue Diesel give it a softer, more approachable look. Red Diesel’s scent is bold, rich earth and skunky funk with a wee bit o’gas. Blue Diesel reveals a sweet creamy aroma when ground. Both are pleasant and smooth-smoking, with very little coughing or irritation.
Da DoGooders’ Red Diesel revved up the brain-engines nicely, helping me get my plans together while providing a strong buffer against my negative self-talk. How would you like to walk around with a voice in your ear telling you you’re crap and that you’ll fail all the time? Personally, I handle it by smoking copious amounts of weed and yelling back, out loud if I have to. What? I am crazy, but at this point in my life, I run the fucking asylum. The combination of anxiety relief and mental energy puts me in a terrific mood that is too psychoactive to veg out on the couch. This strain would be much better for socializing, since you’re not locked in to your own head like some heady sativas, or blazing through your honey-dew list, since you can think well enough to avoid the mistakes that will get you yelled at. Happy
boss wife, happy life, eh? Good for daytime, potent enough to help with sleep.
Blue Diesel flips the effects 180. It inhibits thought while activating the body. Within minutes, the cannabinoids wash over my tired mind, quieting the rapids of thought as easily as turning off the faucet, and I find myself naturally falling into my stretch routine and eagerly scrolling through hiking locations on my phone. Of course, if you actually want to get away from our artificial world for a few minutes to a place quiet and peaceful enough for you to connect with the Creator, you will need to first escape the traffic that surrounds our city like an asteroid belt. I recommend north, since Maryland decriminalized the possession of less than 10 grams of marijuana. This flower is also better for the day, as it’ll leave you restless in the evenings.
I also mixed the two into a single prerolled cone twice, with the same consequences each time- my physical energy exhausted, I have to go have a liedown, but my thoughts are going too fast to allow for sleep so I just layabout in a haze. So don’t cross the streams, smartass! But you definitely want to hit up Da DoGooders for an impressive menu of great flowers (and don’t forget their live resin) delivered direct to doorsteps across the District.