Welcome back, my mismatched motley of miscreants! Another lovely weekend lies just within our grasp, a mere eight labor hours hence. We can put up with the barrage of emails, phone calls, interruptions, the bleak, endless meetings where, if you listen really close, you can actually hear your soul whimper as it slowly dies in a prison you asked to walk into, you fucking applied to walk into, and you can deal with all of that but not if Doug from Accounting is going to be there, cuz Doug is a dick and he burps under his breath constantly like we don’t know, how could we not know? Have you smelled your fucking breath, Doug? But it’s fine. It’s all fine. Cuz the Gentleman has got a new DC delivery service to tell y’all about called Potluck Solutions, and I know how happy that makes my little munchkins!
Potluck Solutions has ingeniously harnessed the dynamic power of Initiative 71 to promote their signature rap artist, POTT (Product of the Trap), via cannabis gifts. But POTT doesn’t just spit bars about our favorite flower, he personally grows the ganja gifts. Synergy, baby! What you’re actually buying from Potluck is his album The New Strain. Now, I’m not gonna pretend I’m up on current rap music- I pretty much checked out of rap after Mobb Deep and WuTang- but tracks like “Hundred” and “Beneficial” got me fired up while “B.D.A.B.” is reminiscent of early Bone Thugs. If you’re into trap, I bet you’re gonna dig The New Strain.
Ok, ok, all this talking about weed’s got me ready to review Potluck Solutions’ Platinum Cookies! I got an eighth comprised of a half-dozen popcorn nugs to review. The buds are a nice, fresh green with orange hairs sprouting through, but the manicure could use a little work, as stems and sugar leaves were left on. Despite the size of the buds, a few tiny trichomes are noticeable. It’s sweet, creamy scent profile is full and inviting. I shoved the ground flower into a prerolled cone and blazed up. The smoke is thick and voluminous, quickly filling my lungs, and I’m coughing regularly halfway through the jay. The Platinum Cookies have got some serious potency. A strong couchlock effect shortly precedes a stronger bedlock. I haven’t had any flowers that put me to sleep this quickly in quite a while. I strongly prefer a knockout indica to sleep rather than an overwhelming sativa- the body stone makes my night (or nap) more restful. Either will do in a pinch when you’re staring down infomercials at four in the morning and wondering how long until you snap and start Fight Clubbing yourself, or if you already have, but your split personality doesn’t think you’re cool enough to be a space monkey so you just think you’re watching TV while Tyler’s got the Light and is probably using it to bang Helena Bonham-Carter.
Follow all that? Damn, good job. Here, you should also Follow Potluck Solutions on Instagram if you want some Platinum Cookies for your own medicine cabinet! They’re available for delivery and at events, and of course, don’t forget to check out POTT’s The New Strain while you smoke his pot. But try not to get all, like, meta about it. That’s just Initiative 71, baby!