Vanilla Kush from District SweetGreen

Hola, me gatos gordos y grandes! Don’t mind me, I just found an old phrasebook in my bugout bag after Trump’s speech to the UN yesterday and decided I’d brush up. Did nobody on his staff point out that if you stand in front of the assembled nations of the world, threatening to annihilate an entire country and challenging their “Rocket Man” leader that you’re the one that sounds like a B list super villain? Plus now I can’t stop picturing Kim Jong Un flying around the NPRK in a stout, little War Machine armor, killing the sinister American Joe invaders with an array of future-tech rainbow-sparkle weaponry while his citizens sing that Oh Great Leader song from It’s Always Sunny. Congrats, Donny, you made North Korea’s dictator sound like the good guy. At least get your teleprompter guy to insert MANIACAL LAUGH after so folks understand you’re just LARPing as Lex Luthor and not, like, a real president or anything. Right? Sigh. Before I put The Abigail out to sea to escape the imminent swarms of radioactive Cronenbergs, I’ve got one last task- hit up District SweetGreen for some more of their excellent Vanilla Kush.

Ok, it’s actually a cross- Vanilla Kush x Sunset Sherbet- but you will be hard pressed to find any scent other than sweet, creamy vanilla. I had to ask Sweet Green if the jar used to hold a candle. That scent profile is exquisite. The aroma doesn’t really make it to the flower, but it’s a fine smoke, just a bit irritating. The hefty nugs are fresh and very frosty. As with other dairy-scented cannabis I’ve had the pleasure of smoking, the effect leans indica. A bowl is just enough to chill me out and still get after my chores; two will convince you that you’ll do them right after an episode of Bob’s Burgers…then one more…then one more…heheh Gene…was there something I was supposed to do? Right, get a good night’s sleep. That was it. Definitely a good choice to calm my anxiety, but this cultivar is better saved for later in the evening.

For the hours you’ll be forced to interact with other human beings, may I suggest you check out District SweetGreen’s concentrate selection? Their True OG nugrun sugar wax is a veritable delight to smoke. So smooth and sweet! There’s a silky lavender flavor on the inhale, but unlike most strains I suspect contain a heavy dose of the terpene linalool, I find this strain to be energetic. A superb hybrid, I’m up and alert but my anxiety and depression are locked far away, my thoughts well-paced. Dabbing this True OG, the past feels like a distant island, oceans away. Now is brilliant and consuming. The potent mental acceleration has me dipping through my tasks like a Tokyo motorcycle race. Woom! That being said, it isn’t overstimulating- I can still talk with folks and concentrate on the discussion at hand. The only thing this True OG sugar wax isn’t good for is relaxing. I can’t mindlessly consume my corporate propaganda like a good little citizen, not with so many things to do and the energy to get after them…so when it’s time to call the day done, I’ll happily switch over to the Vanilla Kush. Heheh, Louise.

If you want to check out District SweetGreen for yourself, you can hit ’em up on LeafedIn or Instagram for delivery. You can find them at events, too, like Flower Fest this past weekend- even headlining act Berner got in on the action at District SweetGreen’s table. But you better hurry! If you’re not at the boat on time, this Gentleman ain’t waiting!