Slabbin Fresh Clementine Shatter

Hell, yes! Despite the bitter cold and pouring rain, Virginians turned out to repudiate experimental mini-Trump Gillespie, electing another Democratic governor over threats that MS-13 would rape their babies and tear down all their statues of dead racist traitors. The only Confederacy I’m down with is “of Dunces,” but let’s move on. Flipping 7 House seats in Northern VA, including the first openly transgender person in the nation to serve in her state’s legislature defeating the buttwipe that introduced the state’s bathroom bill, is no small success. Of course, your Gentleman is most excited that Northam’s election keeps the Commonwealth’s cannabis decriminalization movement on track (you’ve been following my News page, haven’t you?) Imagine, smoking weed in Virginia without worrying that you’ll go to prison over it! While there’s little time for laurel-resting and so forth, I do believe a small celebration is in order. Luckily, I’ve got an entire personal party kit from Slabbin Fresh.

I love these things!

I went to check out Slabbin Fresh based on another reader tip, thank you very much. Feel free to send me your favorite brands via this beautiful contact form and I’ll check ’em out. Y’know, unless you’re trying to sell me skeezy Russian sex drugs that, believe me, I have no use for. Jeebus. I really thought being a semi-famous weed blogger would help my Tinder game and yes, alright, now that I hear it aloud I get why you’re laughing. Oh, well. Let’s take a look at our consolation prizes.

Happy Stick sounds like just the thing to turn this pizza-munching cartoon rat’s frown upside-down. These vape cartridges are strain-specific- mine is Trainwreck. I’ve had some experience with this strain from the DC dispensaries and the cart performed similarly- a lightened, relaxed mood that turned a short stop over by Catholic U into a sight-seeing stroll. I’ve not been over that close to the Basilica before and wanted some time to admire the striking architecture. The Happy Stick has a natural, smooth CO2 flavor with no additives (including glycol) in the mix and good potency (5-6 hits is sufficient). If you need something with a bit more oomph, Slabbin Fresh has a house line of distillate carts which I also enjoyed.

How about some fire flowers, my Mario? Fire OG from Slabbin Fresh has a sharp, but pleasant, nose I’ve been trying to put my finger on for two days but now I’ve smoked it all and the mystery remains. What I can say for certain is that this sedative settles right in to my temples and forces a decision- sit and calmly watch television or go lay down. I can think clearly, but without any mood increase, motivation to do anything sits at zero. It doesn’t help any that the weather has turned to winter and as a full-time blogger, I hardly ever need to leave my apartment. I have been resisting the urge to turn into a full-on crazy cat person to fill the void left by society, but…my strength…is waning. They’re so cuuuute…

Definitely not least, for my terp heads, Slabbin Fresh has DabMan shatter I’m sure you will enjoy. The Clementine has a slightly sour citrus funk off the sheet and a perfect pull-snap consistency that makes it really easy to manage. That citrus really comes through on the inhale that I’ve found myself reaching for all day now that it’s review day, hooray, which means I get to dab it all! That might be a little ambitious- DabMan’s Clementine shatter has excellent potency. The first few small dabs kept my spirits bright, my fingers focused and on the keys, but another after lunch left me yearning for a nap alongside Gibi ASMR. Wait, that sounds wrong- I was just listening to her videos as I slept, I don’t mean, like,I made a Real Doll that looks like her, I mean…argh…this hole just keeps gettin’ deeper, huh? How ’bout that, uh, football contest, eh? Points were scored, amirite? Ah, good. I think they bought it. Let’s get outta here while they aren’t paying attention.

You’ll have to get your own DabMan, Fire OG, and Happy Sticks cuz I’m crushing mine like…um…things that get crushed…um…origami animals? Geez, brain, weird much? Oh, snap, I almost forgot about the FlavRX Gummy Worms! This bag of 10 sour gummies infused with 250mg of cannabis was perfect for my tolerance. You can find these gifts from Slabbin Fresh at some of the District’s premier pot parties (like Phone Homie’s seshes). Follow them on Instagram for announcements of their upcoming appearances! For more tales of urban castles, sex with robots, and a-dore-able photos of the many, many cats in my future, Subscribe to my Newsletter!