Grape Diamonds (Real Deal Farmz)

It’s been a while since we checked in on Real Deal Farmz, hasn’t it? One of DC’s most talented growers in my own not-so-humble opinion, RDF’s organic, hydroponic flowers are consistently excellent, with wonderful scent profiles and terrific potency. We’ve already looked at his fantastic Grape Ape, Tangerine Dream, and LA Woman in this review and one of my very favorite strains ever, his Laughing Buddha waaaay back a million years ago in, like, 2016. The frenetic pace of Initiative 71 has aged your Gentleman at least a decade and I was already an old soul, so now I’m like, some sort of unblinking cosmic force or whatever, watching as timewaves expand and contract upon D-space in a delicate, violent dance. It’s pretty cool, I guess /skips rock into black hole. Among the more interesting evolutions your Uatu has observed, Real Deal has united his love of cannabis and bigass dudes hitting each other with metal chairs into the first 420-friendly professional wrestling show. You can watch McLeafz on YouTube, catch it live on ListenVision’s site, or go down to the studio to get in on the fun yourself Saturdays at 9pm!

Incredible Bulk

If you do, perhaps Real Deal will deign to gift you some of the latest ladies to hail from the Farmz, like Incredible Bulk, the ever-popular Sour Diesel, or his latest project, a cross of the Sour D with Grape Ape he’s dubbed Grape Diamonds. The Incredible Bulk produced solid, heavily trichomed nugs that gave off a subtle, earthy scent. The Sour Diesel was more spice than gas, dark green with a bit of purple here and there, a healthy coverage of trichs, and as is typically the case with sativas, these flowers are more dainty than dense. The Grape Diamonds retained some of that lovely grape aroma exhibited by its parent, but was surprisingly sweet. Real Deal’s flowers are always a smooth smoke and burn down to the ideal white ash that indicates a proper flush of the nutrients prior to harvest.

Incredible Bulk, finished

Incredible Bulk is a potent, piledriving indica best reserved for right before bed. If I smoke it first thing in the morning, I can stay awake, but with significant hindrance to my faculties, which quickly become fixated on frosted mini donuts. Mmm, donuts. Ah, right, the review. So Incredible Bulk is fine if I’m planning on lounging around in my underpants, but isn’t gonna help me get the day done. This particular combination of cannabinoids is more welcome at night, when the heavy head and body stone craft a wonderful night’s sleep.

Sour Diesel

Real Deal’s Sour Diesel is a lighter, airier high that can boost a sullen mood- y’know, TFW when you realize your website’s Contact forms may have been down for an entire day (sorry, folks, try again)-  but doesn’t do much for my anxiety about it. This Sour Diesel didn’t have me bouncing off the ropes or leaping from turnbuckles, but it was too restless for much TV, so it’s better to go for a walk and find something exterior to occupy my thoughts, like puppies. Oooh, puppies!

Grape Diamonds

Grape Diamonds walks away the winner of this cage match, a real sensory-enhancer that lit my neurons up like a Christmas tree. I’d call this experiment a success. Grape Diamonds are louder than my anxiety and put me in a wonderful mood without gluing me to the couch, making this strain a very flexible medicine. The mental quiet helps me focus on my tasks during the daytime and laugh my face off at Dave Chappelle’s latest stand-up sets on Netflix. In the last one, Dave talks around and in parable about his decision to leave the industry at the height of his show’s success, alluding to something sinister in Hollywood “worse” than the behavior that prompted the MeToo movement. Clearly, he’s stumbled on to the NWO’s predictive programming plot to lull us into Delta wave submissi- oh, look, more puppies! PUPPIES! What was I talking about again?

Grape Diamonds

If you want to check out Real Deal Farmz for yourself, head on over to the studio tomorrow! McLeafz is live from 9-10pm at Listen Vision Studios (2622 Georgia Ave NW, across from Howard University). Make sure to Follow Real Deal on Instagram for more pictures from his magic garden. Oh, and I drew the winner for my vape cartridge giveaway earlier! If you didn’t get a newsletter from me today, then you didn’t make it on to my subscriber list cuz you tried yesterday or earlier today when it wasn’t working after I upgraded my hosting account to deal with all this sexy, sexy site traffic. My bads. Sign up again and I’ll be sure you’re on the next one.