Purple Jagoo (God’s Gift LLC)

Did you miss me, my singing, bloodthirsty flora? Pardon the slightly extended absence. It’s all very hush hush, you see, so allow me to direct your attention with a twirl of my cane and flourish of finely waxed mustachio towards my newest I71 find, God’s Gift LLC. Their mission is to promote the music of the brand’s founders, rap duo Bing Brovas, and solicit donations towards studio time by gifting cannabis via delivery (with pick up in SW available). In the Gentleman’s lofty opinion, gifting cannabis in exchange for promoting art or other causes seems like a very synergistic utilization of the District’s progressive marijuana laws. Now we’re going to utilize some of these gorgeous Purple Jagoo flowers God’s Gift granted me for review to get exceptionally synergized.

So here’s the deal with God’s Gift LLC (here’s the website). You are supposed to contact them first for gift menu & schedule options. Don’t just donate for studio time willy-nilly if you want your cannabis gift, though you can see their typical donation amounts listed next to the tracks (go ahead and hit play there, guy). Their phone number and Instagram link are both featured on the site. Pretty simple process from that point. Now here’s the deal with the Purple Jagoo:

Bam! That’s, like, Prince’s bathroom purple, with the jewels to match, baby! Beyond the trichomes, the buds are dense, just a little sticky, and the manicure is tight. Her pungent scent reminds me very much of The Purps, a sweet, earthy mixture but rank with diesel fumes. With flowers this good, God’s Gift artists are gonna get a lot of attention. Info on this particular cultivar is scant, but it’s safe to guess the other parent is Jagoo, descended from the well-known Afgoo, a particularly sticky indica achieved by crossing an Afghani landrace with the famed Maui Wowie. Ooh, it’s just like the Kardashians, but interesting! Did Maui really hook up with some rando? Is Light of Jah really Jagoo’s father? Will the truth push him to bang The Purps in confused, animal frustration, even though he is betrothed to Hashplant? Tune in next week to find ou-ah, who am I kidding, I won’t remember this joke by then.

God’s Gift’s Purple Jagoo isn’t harsh at all but the smoke is thick and will likely make you cough. The high is fantastic, again, very reminiscent of The Purps. It’s billed as an indica, but it isn’t going to put me to sleep. In fact, I get a slight energy boost, physically, while my mind remains relaxed. I can think, but I’d rather work out or clean. It doesn’t take me long to clean. I’ve got my own space and not much stuff, cuz I don’t like a whole lot of stuff dragging me down. I do need a little more stuff- an end table would be favorite, cuz I’m using a flipped over storage bin right now and while it doesn’t bother me, personally- it’s a step up from some of the furniture I’ve used over the years, on account of the lack of hobo organs inside- I’d hate for my lady friend to be forever shunned by her peers for her romantic association with a man who thinks furniture is just an upside-down box, minus spiders. Therefore, end table.

This batch of Purple Jagoo has made quite a first impression on your Gentleman. I highly recommend you reach out to God’s Gift LLC via the contact info on their website or Instagram to arrange a look-see for yourself. Also, got a sample of some other gifts like Blue Kush OG that they were considering adding to the menu that was of similar, high quality. Very excited to see what comes next from these guys! And if you wanna get the scoop on what’s coming next from me, sign up for my newsletter! You’ll automatically entered into all the cool giveaways I keep talking about.

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