Today, we’ll turn our attention once again to Maryland’s baby-fresh medical marijuana program. I’ve been ignoring Maryland on purpose, you see- I understand that the early crops can be hit or miss, so your Gentleman has graciously given them some time to get it together before his critical eye falls upon them. Isn’t that nice of me? I thought so. It’s not as much fun being a jerk as you’d think. I’d much rather find perfect cannabis, so I might hold it out to you all like a newborn Lion King cub, and then we can sing and dance about the circle of life or whatever, I don’t remember. But as the divine hand of Fortune may have it, my first real Maryland review is indeed Simba-riffic. Behold, my tribelings, vape cartridges from Rythm!
Aw, crap. Did I vape half the cart before taking a picture? I gotta stop doing that. It was just so freakin good, though. As you may know, I favor a hybrid experience. Ok, wait, I want to talk about something else now. Sativa/Indica/Hybrid is an outdated model for discussing cannabis for several reasons. First, much like humanity’s future cyborg ascension, pretty much all commercial cannabis is a hybrid to some degree. I’m getting a laser cannon arm! And a jetpack! And a…uh…dammit, what was I OH RIGHT! Second, it’s possible for a sativa to make you tired and an indica to wake you up. Cannabis science has a ways to go but we know that cannabinoids and terpenes (and around a hundred other compounds) influence the effect. However, the cannabinoid and terpene content isn’t always known, while testing can be inconsistent. Therefore, I still find Sativa=Awake, Indica=Asleep an easily understood shorthand to communicate the basic effect. And so does Rythm, cuz the beautiful box my cart came in says Hybrid on it. So there.
One of the things I love about Maryland, though, is that they give a full cannabinoid and terpene profile with each product, so let’s take a look. My Lemonhead OG cart says it has 81.3% THC (or 406.5mg out of the 500mg total, and yes, Mrs. Grundy, the math checks out), 3.6% THCa, 1.3% CBG (oooh. I like CBG), and .7% CBN. You’ll notice the absence of CBD. The dominant terpene is beta-Myrcene at 1.86%, with beta-Caryophyllene right behind at 1.43%. At 80+ percent THC I expect heavy potency. Rythm delivers. This cart is so strong I don’t want to just keep puffing away like many others. I’m good after a few hits and putting it back in my pocket at 5. Damn. And it is great daytime medicine. I don’t feel at all tired, but my anxieties are walled off, my mood is calm and content, even under great stress, and I can still think clearly. It’s only missing a shot of invigoration to be perfect, but it didn’t keep me from hitting the gym and getting in my first run in forever. I’ve been working toward being healthy enough to exercise harder and I got here, finally. My back isn’t even being a stupid little bitch about it. I can’t wait to be in shape enough to be insufferably obnoxious about it all the time! Ooh, I’m gonna take shirtless selfies of my abs so weirdos can use my picture to Catfish, and then Nev will call me up and be like, are you jerking around some naive girl in Mississippi, GT? And I’ll be like, yeah, duh, obviously, buy me a plane ticket already, cuz why should that Catfish jerk get a date and go on TV and a free trip instead of me? Right?
This Rythm cartridge is some of the finest CO2 oil I’ve vaped. CO2 extraction at its best produces truly fantastic results in the Gentleman’s opinion; the buzz has a wonderfully organic quality, not to mention a rich and flavorful terpene profile. I couldn’t be more impressed to find this level of quality so soon. If you want your Maryland medical marijuana card, my friends at Green Health Docs would love to help you out. And don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter, we’re gonna kick off another giveaway this week!