BEST OF GT- HOLISTIC REMEDIES

I don’t do so much bashing now, but I rarely see stuff as Hulk-inducing as Holistic Remedies’ bland $150/gram shatter and vape cartridges that simply don’t freakin’ work. I was so hot when I started this site, baby! Sure, I burnt a few bridges. Pfft! You should see my life, bro. Burning bridges all ’round. Sometimes I just sit and watch the flames. So pretty. Though it’s a shame, they were one of my favorite flower cultivators. I really loved their Master Kush, Lemon Skunk, and Critical Kush in particular. I haven’t tried their new products yet, but there’s a wider range of concentrate types and pricing (between $120-$160/gram) now. The vape carts at $70 each appear to be a more standard variety oil- the old junk carts were just a hunk of crumble on a weak atomizer. I’m definitely down to check out their new stuff to see if the quality has improved after all this time. I think they scored a Maryland license, if I’m not mistaken…


DC MMJ cultivator Holistic Remedies is holding a class on concentrates at National Holistic Healing Center tomorrow, combined with a 15% off sale of their oils, waxes, tinctures, etc.  I figured it was well past time that I present a class, myself.  A Teach the Teacher sorta deal so I hope you’re listening!  I’m not going to complain about the THC levels advertised; since there is no independent lab testing in DC and y’all are allowed to say whatever you want, in effect, we’ll skip stuff you can easily change.  Let’s begin with a short presentation.  Won’t take long, folks!

Portland Extracts

Portland Extracts, 1st price is $24/gram

OK! Does everyone have a good idea of what concentrates are supposed to cost at this point?  FYI, these images took zero hunting on my part. Please, I invite you to look at the menus on these sites for shops in Colorado, California, Oregon, and Washington state if you think I’m misrepresenting things- you’ll quickly see this is the going rate.

VAPE PEN CARTRIDGES

VAPE PEN CARTRIDGES – RIP-OFF ALERT!

The Vape Pen Cartridges from Holistic Remedies are the biggest rip-off in the entire DC medical marijuana system.  At least the flowers from District Growers get you high.  These things do not work.  They have a fail rate of around 50% from my own experience and other reviews I’ve seen.  When they do work, that is, vapor comes out when activated, it will not help you feel medicated, and you will wonder if you got one that works at all.

Once you guys have figured out how to make one that works, please note that it should also last well over a dozen hits- 100 is more industry standard (and 300 is more industry advertised).  Finally, if you are intent on charging $60, most folks out West at that price point include a cheap 510 battery.

By all means, if you can find even an ‘it was OK’ review of this product, let me know!  I will never waste my hard-earned money on this product again and that’s the best advice I can give y’all.  I love the stealth and efficacy of vape pens and this is why I’m excited to hear a new cultivator in DC is making some that should be out soon.

WAX and HONEY OIL- RIP-OFF ALERT!

What the hell, guys?  $150 a gram is completely unacceptable.  That is, ummm, SIX FREAKING TIMES the cost in the menus I linked above.  It should come with its own oil slick, instead of a cheap plastic container that everything gets stuck to, and a taxi ride home, because you don’t expect me to walk in these heels after getting fucked that hard, do you?

Savages.

Seriously, let’s talk.  I want to support the dispensary.  I want to buy my medicine in a nicely lit, secure store from good people that are clearly invested in the brick and mortar operations in DC.

I also still want to be able to respect myself when I get home.  I’d understand some upcharge over street pricing and would shrug my shoulders at it.  YOU ALL ARE COMPLETELY RIPPING PEOPLE OFF!  The wax and honey oil you all make is decent quality (should be terp heaven for these prices) and I’m willing to pay a fair price.  When you charge SIX HUNDRED PERCENT MORE than comparable products out West, instead of shoulder shrugs, you incite lunatics (hello, sailor!) to build websites just to scream at you over the internet.  And no one wants that!

CRUMBLE – EH, IT’S OK.

Holistic Remedies’ photo of Amnesia Haze Crumble

Y’all have burnt all the terps right outta this stuff.  It all tastes the same and has that lung-cloying effect of material that hasn’t been dewaxed.  Now, I am pleased to see that the consistency is getting better, more solid, easier to work with.  And I’m doubly glad to see that it comes in parchment paper now instead of plastic tubs it gets stuck to.

Since it comes at a lower price point ($100/gram, still 3-4 TIMES the prices above) and is better quality than the $80/gram black rosin that tastes like plant matter from Alternative Solutions, so this is what I recommend to people if they insist on getting their concentrate from the dispensary.  But there’s so much better, cheaper stuff available recreationally that folks really shouldn’t buy any of this stuff from you, even at a whopping 15% off.

One note to our District budtenders on this, too- at these prices, do NOT advise people to twax their bowls with this stuff.  It is most effective with an oil rig or a wax pen, if you tell folks to use this as a bowl topping you might as well tell them to smoke their flower out of hundred-dollar bills.  It is a poor use of a too-expensive resource.

I would go to the class tomorrow to tell them myself in person, but I’m afraid that after a year of these prices I would simply thrash in my seat until it was over, then have to be removed from the premises for trying to scream and vomit at the same time.

This article will have to suffice to convey my feelings on your prices.

I’m not interested in excuses.  Just fix it, folks.