The Gentleman has mentioned once or twice his great fondness for the cannabis products from Abatin Wellness, the District’s premier medical marijuana cultivator, but we’ve yet to actually review their luxury flower line, the Kashmir. Aghast! I mean, unless you count the unboxing video I did that I’m overly sensitive about cuz it was hot in the studio so I rolled my sleeves up in my jacket not realizing it was gonna make me look like a forty-year old Oliver Twist, so please don’t watch it. You watched it, didn’t you, ya great big jerk? Humph. Maybe I won’t go on a rant today. Would you like that? I’ll turn this review right around and we can all do homework instead. Yeah? Don’t test me, buster. You’re in the Danger Zone. You know where that is? O-ho, don’t you got a smart mouth? Well- I KNOW I’M NOT YOUR REAL DAD, CAMERON, I’M NOT A LOSER DRUNK THAT SPENDS YOUR BIRTHDAY AT THE TRACK!!! Hey, I’m sorry, kiddo. Let’s just have a good review, okay? Then we’ll get milkshakes.
Right, so there’s a lot to love about Abatin Wellness. They’re the only cultivator in DC utilizing a Dutch greenhouse setup to pump their happy flowers full of real sunshine. Their in-house lab goes above & beyond District requirements (HPLC instead of gas chromatography) to ensure there are no contaminants in your medicine, and the test results are more reliable. The cannabinoid/terpene profile for Abatin Wellness flowers can be found online at PhytoFacts.com if you’re curious- here’s a link to one of the more recent Kashmir Black No. 3 tests– which, if you take a look at the graphs, leads me to my next point, Abatin just sciences harder than everybody else. They’ve done genetic testing on a ton of popular flowers and reclassified them according to their composition by “chemovars” (a play on cultivar, I assume) that share similar characteristics to help patients zero in on the effect that helps them best.
Of course, if you’re going to super-science, it is required that you build a high-octane jet-car to fly around in and rub everybody’s noses in their worthless peon-ism. The Kashmir line is Abatin’s trio of Sky-Lambos, three plants whose heavy terpene and oil production meet the highest cannabis quality standards. They are Kashmir Red (now called Fire), the high CBD Platinum (replacing Gold), and the subject of today’s review, Black No.3. After listening to Dr. Mark Lewis’ talk last month, I learned that around 1:1 ratios of THC to CBD allow you to experience the terpenes effects more clearly. It was my intention to try that out this time but the shop was out of Platinum, so no dice- this review’s straight THC, baby! Kashmir Black is a limonene and caryophyllene-heavy plant that was bred from OG Kush and an F1 cross of Durban Poison and a rare purple pheno of Champagne. The result is a beautiful flower with an even more enticing scent profile, like black pepper and gasoline. Mm-mmm!
Notes of pepper are certainly detectable in the aftertaste of this delicious, smooth smoke. The buds were all dense little popcorn nugs that had been on the shelf since- according to the testing label- Feb ’17, so about a year. Is that right? Yikes. Perhaps due to the age, the unbelievably high resin production I encountered in my unboxing video isn’t in this jar- there’s no sticky on this icky. They are slathered with trichomes, though, and pack a heavy punch- this batch tested out at 27% THC. The buzz is decidedly sativa-leaning and ideal for the daytime. Even though I was trying to rest yesterday, the Kashmir Black kept lighting up my neurons with ideas until I gave up on watching TV and did laundry til I ran out of TidePods (delicious) and finished packing for my Cali trip a few days early. Jazz hands! Some sativas are too light to help with my anxiety, but Kashmir Black keeps those troublesome thoughts in check and my mood quietly upbeat.
This old batch of Kashmir Black No.3 from Abatin doesn’t do the fresh flowers justice, but I’m still happy with the wonderful scent profile, flavor, and outstanding daytime effects. Definitely worth double-checking the date at your dispensary prior to purchase, though, cuz you want that sticky. I don’t think these snazzy Swiss anti-UV glass jars were intended to keep ’em on the shelf as long as their $75/eighth price tag has held them up. If you’re a District resident, here’s my guide to getting your medical marijuana card so you can get your hands on yummy Abatin goodies right now! Everybody else has to wait for legal recreational sales to begin, which FYI the Board of Elections will have a public hearing about adding to the ballot on Wednesday which you would know about it if you signed up for my newsletter! And you’d get a chance to win free weed every so often, cuz I’m a cool guy. Eyyyy, I got thumbs over here! Right?