Alright, alright, we both know why you’re here. Cannabis is legal in DC, but thanks to a rider added to a budget by some pinhead, racist assholes in Congress, there’s nowhere you can just walk in and buy weed. Actually, there is.
DC used to have some of the most stringent regulations on medical marijuana in the country, but thanks to some emergency legislation passed in late 2014, the program was expanded to any and all conditions. That’s right, it’s solely up to you and your doctor to determine if cannabis could be beneficial to you, just as it should be.
If you’re a resident, I highly recommend joining the program like I did. Here’s my review of the different dispensaries– you can only pick one for now! I like Herbal Alternatives and National Holistic Healing Center best. Some of the dispensaries will pay for you to get your card, so your only expense is the doctor visit. You’ll get access to a fairly extensive catalog of great quality strains and prices, in general, are fair compared to the street- and both are getting better all the time. Get the card just in case you ever do find yourself in need of buds (and check out my reviews so you know what to buy)! Note, DC does not have reciprocity yet, so your medical card from another state will NOT get you access to the dispensaries.
“But, GT,” you say, because that’s what the cool kids call me, “I’m not a DC resident/I don’t want a medical card.” Okay, boss! Some of my favorite folks are the online delivery services like SillyBees, Paperboy Paper Company, DistrictofC.com, and KindBagDC. The idea behind staying i-71 compliant is to sell something else and give the ganja as a gift (NOTE- I don’t give legal advice). You’ll need a place to receive the delivery, obviously, and plan on it taking an hour or three. Some accept credit cards, which is awesome- I love earning airline miles for smoking weed. I’ll vouch for the nugs from Paperboy, DistrictofC, and KindBag all being great! Metro City Organic Delivery also has some decent bud. I thought less highly of RedEyeDC, but still OK, and strongly advise you stay away from HighSpeed, unless you have days to wait for mids (which is being a bit generous, really).
There’s some revolutionary tech that’s added a new dimension to the game. Vendors on LeafedIn.org can list their available strains and it features a rating system that also allows Buyers (hint: if you need weed, you’re a Buyer) to comment. I’m excited about that transparency! It’s still early in the launch, but the number of Vendors has more than doubled recently. You can use the message feature to exchange contact info through the site- but consider using WhatsApp or another encryption/privacy app for discussing business, like SnapChat or Kik. I’m not saying your communications will be totally private- but you don’t have to be the low-hanging fruit.
LeafedIn.org is really taking off! Until DC finds a way to allow and regulate recreational sales, you can also get connected to the local cannabis community through social media to find folks donating whatever you’re looking for- seeds, clones, flower, oil, RSO, you name it. Ganjapreneurs looking to capitalize on the opportunity presented by the situation in DC are prominent on MassRoots, Facebook and Instagram. The last two platforms allow for private messaging, but you need to be prepared to reveal yourself online for this to work- I doubt anyone is going to serve a fictitious account you make to protect your identity with a cartoon face avatar and three shared memes. Go on! It’s 2016, it’s time to come out of the cannabis closet and be who you really are! Chew on some peppercorn if you’re feeling paranoid. HighThere! is another app you can use to meet folks, but without any review system (since it’s ostensibly a dating app), it’s about as sketchy as Craigslist.
A solid method to build a network of connections is to attend the events that are going on all the time now- including the protests and internet television shows recorded in DC, like the one and only Slab Hour, Scroggin with the Scroger, and Pink Fox Playhouse. This is one of the best ways to reliably get good quality concentrate for fair donations. If you’ve forgotten how to go clubbin’, check out my nifty guide here. After the police shut down a couple major public events that advertised social use over Memorial Day weekend, these have become smaller and private to circumvent the Social Use Ban. You usually have to pay for a ticket but get some free weed gift, be it an edible, prerolled joint, whatever, when you get in. It’s not going to be much, though, so be prepared to talk to the people you meet (especially at the vendor tables- again, plan on purchasing something else because of i71) if you want more. This way is going to take you a significant amount of time and energy but you could end up getting good deals. The event vendors are featuring more robust menus than ever before and I’ve seen some great quality flowers and concentrate; this is one of my favorite ways to find ganja. My personal favorite vendors are Pharmer Miller, District Connoisseurs, DMV Organics, Dr. Trichome, and Phone Homie.
The last way is the best and the hardest, so it’s also the most rewarding- you can grow your own! If you consume a lot of cannabis, this is definitely the way to go. A modest investment in setup will pay for itself in your first harvest if you take the time to learn and do it properly. Worried about what equipment to get, setting up, or that you won’t be able to produce a good quality flower? There are lots of plant nannies and consultants willing to help manage your grow, and some consultants and grow shops will even rent you the equipment so you can make an informed decision about whether growing is right for you before you purchase. Real Deal’s Farms, Funky Farmacy, DC Scroger & Dank Boyz are the folks I’d recommend to you.
Now that you’ve got your ganja, you need a pipe to smoke it in! There are lots of head shops around DC, check out my insights into your local options here and remember to support American-made glass!