Ahh, the winter crucible is nearly over. Your in-laws are pulling out of the driveway, the kids are off with the neighbor’s trying to poke each other’s eyes out with the new gizmos you got ’em, the corpses of endless waves of Deadites are chainsawed apart and stacked with the cordwood out back…What? I just assumed you spent Christmas vacation binging Ash vs Evil Dead on Netflix like I did. Really? But it’s got Lucy Lawless the Warrior Princess in it! Nevermind. My point is, it’s about time for some Me Time, yeah? I mean You Time. Like, technically reading my review is Me Time but I mean Me Time for You, not for Me. Aaargh, I’ve befuddled myself. Let’s look at the box already.
The Me Time Box is a high-end subscription box service well worth the $45 monthly fee (but you can get it even cheaper- use my code “gtoker” for 15% off!) Commitment-phobic? I can dig that, baby, no worries- you can also get a single box for $55, which is still a fantastic bargain cuz The Me Time Box literally has ALL of the things. Mine came with a gorgeous spoon pipe that could fetch $45 at a head shop on its own AND a 10″ bong with an ice catcher. The spoon pipe comes with its own protective bag so you can take it to your friend’s place. Aw, man, you got friends? Lucky! Perhaps you’d prefer something a little more discreet for a night out? There’s a pretty little chillum and a fake half-cigarette one-hitter in here, too, plus a bottle of Blunt Blast Ocean Breeze spray to clear the air.
Speaking of blunts! If you want to roll up, the Me Time Box has got you covered. This box came with a two-pack of High Hemp’s vegan, GMO-free, 100% organic hemp herbal wraps (filter tips included), a cigar splitter, and a little rolling tray to TCB (you’re welcome). If you’d rather doob it up, there’s two different size RAW papers in here along with a pack of Toke Token Green Apple flavored papers, a sweet glass filter tip, and a tube to carry it around in. Don’t forget, Initiative 71 doesn’t apply on federal property in DC! Here’s a helpful map. Oh, can’t forget the grinder, either! The Me Time Box also came with a four-piece metal grinder, which means it has a kief catcher. Just make sure you clean a metal grinder before using it- a quick wipe of each piece with some isopropyl should do the trick.
“But, GT,” you ask, “what about some hemp seed oil salve to keep my lips smooth and kissable?” That is an oddly specific request and I’m a little uncomfortable with the way you’re looking at me right now, but yes, there does happen to be some in here. Me Time really has thought of everything. Yes, it’s got a lighter, too. I said Me Time has thought of everything, gosh! One box and you’re all set, or get a subscription and ball completely out of control. I don’t care what you do, mister, this review is over and I’m ready for some Me Time. For Me this time, not for…sigh. You know what I mean.