Canndescent Calm #112 (Urbn Leaf)

Eh, I figured while we’re snowed in, I can reminisce about my sleepy week by the beach in sunny San Diego and the awesome Canndescent flowers I enjoyed whilst lazing about reading Rick & Morty comics. They’re awesome if you need a fix waiting for Season 4, beeteedubs, they’re all-new stories and hilarious. But I digress! There are TWO Ocean Beach-adjacent dispensaries, Urbn Leaf and Golden State Greens. I visited both and have to give a slight edge to Golden State Greens as to how they handle their lines. GSG has you take a seat and wait for your assigned budtender, but Urbn Leaf has you stand in line the entire time. On the other hand, Urbn Leaf has a bus that picks up at the beach, so it’s a damn thin line to call here. Anyway, I noticed that both dispensaries had house flowers and branded flowers, like Flow Kana or the Marley Natural line. FYI, branded doesn’t necessarily mean top-shelf indoor, but in Canndescent’s case, it most certainly does.

Canndescent classifies their flowers according to their five Effect Classes and Number instead of the typical cultivar nomenclature like Blue Dream or Hindu Kush (Abatin Wellness is moving in a similar direction with their flowers here in DC using a color-coded system). Canndescent’s five Effect Classes are Calm, Cruise, Create, Connect, and Charge, and then their proprietary genetics are assigned a number in that class- for instance, I just found Calm #104 on WeedMaps, but I bought #112. The eighth cost $60 at UrbnLeaf, which was just a little more than I paid for top-shelf house flowers at Golden State Greens, and comes in a fancy box with matches, hempwick, rolling papers & tips. My papers contained an uplifting LL Cool J quote telling me to keep grinding or something and then there’s a message from the Canndescent bigwigs in the front. It’s kinda awesome that they’re willing to put their real names out there backing their product. I presume they’re real people, perhaps they’re anagrams of the fallen angels bound in Enochian sigil-chains by Canndescent’s board of Rosicrucian sorcerers to grow their amazing virgin cannabis, I’m not gonna bother checking. It’s not the sort of thing folks list on their LinkedIn.

Typically, I’m looking for the Charge kind of experience, but Calm stated it “nurtures the body and allows for the quiet, peace, and solitude to reflect on and nourish a busy life.” That sounded just the ticket for a Gentleman on holiday whose greatest ambition was finding out whether he’d get bored playing HAIM’s remix of Tame Impala’s Cause I’m a Man on repeat before his neighbors complained. Mmm, that’s quality ear candy right there. Anyhow, Canndescent’s Calm #112 met every expectation I had of “real Cali weed.” The fragrance was amazing, overwhelmingly sweet with strong floral notes. The tight, trich’d out buds were perfectly cured, still fresh in the jar and cracked apart easily, leaving a little sticky resin on my fingers. And the eighth had a few fat nugs in there, which is what you want to see at a this price point.

Still recovering from the redeye, the first couple of times I smoked Calm # 112, a couple packs in my tiny travel bong put me to sleep within the hour. After that, I was able to experience it further, but this is a serious indica. As my muscles relaxed, so did my psyche. A bowl and half provides much-needed quiet from anxious thoughts, softening my perspective, without making my head feel fuzzy. It was perfect for watching the sunrise before the beach was crowded with other, presumably terrible humans to ruin my quiet solitude and again at night, as I listened to the waves before bed. Canndescent was truly a pleasure to smoke. If I’d the time, they sell a 5 pack with an eighth of each Effect Class in it, but I’ll have that to look forward to on my next trip. You can Follow them on Instagram for more pretty pictures and info about their products. And don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter– I’m gonna do another giveaway for my subscribers on Friday, yay!