Dixie Elixir Half & Half (Curio Wellness)

Maryland’s medical marijuana program prohibits the sale of what is traditionally thought of as edibles, so you won’t find any weed brownies or gummies, but they do have several infused, ah, ingestables options. That’s not a sexy word. Well, I mean, I just made it up, but it doesn’t sound very pretty, does it? Ok, let’s scrap it. They’ve got tinctures, weed pills (tablets), and infused drinks. The latter two are available from Dixie Elixir, which is a big multi-state brand that made a lot of noise when Colorado first legalized, and now license out their processes & product name to other states. In Maryland’s case, that’s Curio Wellness.

Curio opened their own dispensary not too long ago, but I haven’t visited yet cuz it’s in Timonium and where the hell is that? Ah, another B-more ‘burb. Ok, I’ll get out there. This one’s from Euphoria Wellness in New Market, which is one of my local shops. They’re alright, not a huge selection yet, but decent. They don’t like me very much, but that’s understandable, lots of people don’t like me, so it’s hard to fault them for that. My questions are super-annoying and I can come off as kind of a dick sometimes, if you can believe that.

This Dixie Elixir boasts 200mg of THC in 250mL of a Tea/Lemonade combo and a 30 minute activation time. I decided to give it a go around 5am as I was winding down from an all-night Far Cry 5 sesh. It’s a first-person shooter set in Montana, a near-future pre-apocalypse that sets you against a cult that’s taken over and cut Hope County off from the outside world. The game is pretty intense but it’s well balanced with hilarity throughout. The cougar, the bear, and the dog are the most popular Guns for Hire you can partner with to take down the PEGies’ outposts, but the funniest Guns for Hire are Sharky, the explosives expert, who warns you of catching zombie when you loot dead bodies, and Adelaide, the mature libertine pilot lady, who’ll cut on your radio with helpful advice like ‘keep an extra pair of socks in case your feet get wet, or you need an impromptu ball gag’ and tells you which of your allies & enemies she’d most like to romp around in the sheets with. Even better, if you get ’em both together, Sharky will read Adelaide a poem he wrote for her. OMG I love this game.

The lid will help you measure out a single dose of 12mg of THC, but that’s not how we roll with edibles at GTHQ. My tolerance for infused cannabis is pretty high, so  so I take the maximum just to see if I feel anything at all, which I definitely should from 200mg. I drank the entire bottle, but it took about 20 minutes as I kept forgetting about it in the heat of battle. It’s not surprising, then, that it took closer to an hour to really kick in. When it did, I was lit. My mood was soaring, almost to Psychedelia, but we didn’t crest that mountain. Instead, I felt an intense clarity and calm. The effects lasted for about an hour, then I crashed hard and dragged myself to bed.

The Gentleman quite enjoyed the Dixie Elixir. It tastes alright, maybe just a hint, a smidgen, of cannabis flavor, but it’s not cost-effective at a single dose for moi at $49.99 a bottle. If your tolerance is lower, I expect you’ll find this medicine very helpful in the evening, and definitely worth experimenting with for the daytime. If you’re a Maryland resident willing to give up your right to own a gun and probably get kicked out of The Commander Hotel in Ocean City, the dirty rat-fuckers, check out the Gentleman’s good friends at Veriheal to help you get your medical marijuana card.