529 Vapes recently opened up shop at 529 S Broadway in the historic Fells Point neighborhood of Baltimore, which is where I live now and it’s awesome. Friday night I wound up at this little club where a fight broke out, and I want to say it happened while Fallout Boy was playing to make the story better but I think it was after. I was talking to this girl and she was like “Don’t get involved!” which surprised your Pikachu, cuz I had already performed an ocular patdown, of course, and assessed zero threat within our perimeter. Plus I swore to stop Roadhousing after I saved that one little town where I made passionate, standing-up sex to the doctor and then I ripped that one dude’s throat out with my bare hands, remember that? So freakin’ cool. But I gave all that up! Settled down with Demi Moore and made passionate pottery love before I got killed by my greedy business partner BFF and came back as a ghost and Whoopi was a medium, remember? I’m still a little unclear if we had a threesome or not but I don’t suppose it really matters in the end.
More than an attractive, upscale storefront to shop for your vape supplies, 529 Vapes also carries a wide selection of full and pure spectrum CBD products like cartridges, oils, topicals, even flowers- technically, hemp- like the Mothership and Lemon Drop samples we’ll review today. Also, I found the owner and shop employees to be impressively knowledgeable about their products and benefits, super helpful if you’re new to cannabinoid-based therapy or even an old head like myself who thinks he already knows everything about everything because I do, obviously, but it’s nice chatting with other people that also know what, if you’ll forgive the colloquialism, is up.
529 Vapes provided COAs (Certificate of Analysis) for both hemp samples. Mothership was tested by ChemHistory and determined to contain 14.94% CBD and 0.54% THC. Lemon Drop was tested by DB Labs at 13.569% CBD and 0.503% THC, so both of these 529 Vapes regulars are roughly 30:1 for comparison’s sake when you’re out shopping, depending on how much you care about math, of course. It’s seven in the morning and it doesn’t appear that I do, but go ahead and have at it, secret genius janitor, I don’t even like apples.
On to the Gentleman’s analysis then! The Lemon Drop’s nose immediately caught my attention, a sharp, yet inviting citrus. The Mothership is heavily sour with a hint of spices that’s downright intoxicating. This is one of those flowers you’ll open the jar just to take a big ol’ whiff of it and smile, cuz somewhere in this jacked-up alternate timeline the CERN nerds shuffled of us into screwing around all casual-like with the building blocks of existence and occasionally yelling things like “Quantum!” at it, somewhere, there’s gotta be something good and pure and true left in the universe cuz this smell right here is the proof that it exists. We have to find it and protect it before the evil wizards get there and break it all into crystals that get lost everywhere cuz I simply do not have time to go adventuring in floating sky castles and abandoned mines full of slime creatures today, guys, seriously.
CBD is never gonna replace THC as my personal daily driver, cuz while some products help with my anxiety, they don’t help me with depression, something I still have to deal with even though life is going great which doesn’t really seem fair at all, does it? Dumb stupid brain constantly piercing the veil of illusion instead of being happy with anything ever grumble grumble. I did notice a short mood boost after vaping the Lemon Drop via my PAX 3 at 365 degrees, along with a moderate, anxiety-inhibiting calm and strong alertness. I had been lazing about on the couch watching Letterkenny but fifteen minutes after the Lemon Drop I was restless and ready to get at it. I vaped Mothership the same way and found it to provide superior anxiety control in addition to a similar, sativa-leaning alertness and clarity that turned into two very productive work hours. I also smoked some Mothership and was surprised at how smooth the smoke was from the bong. Top marks.
You’re gonna be hard pressed to find better CBD flowers than the Gentleman has at 529 Vapes, partner. I highly suggest y’all mosey on down to 529 S. Broadway in Baltimore to check out the shop, or you can find ’em online on Instagram @529vapes. Questions? Well, I bet they’ve got answers for you. Give ’em a call at 240-339-4019. FYI, shipping is available!