A little late getting to the this set of reviews but I needed some time to recover after the Valentine’s cam-girl weekend rush. What, you don’t think this booty makes the printer go brrrr? Girl look at that body. Alright alright, let’s get to talkin’ trees. Washington DC Initiative 71 tree, that is. You want to know where to get the best around and GT’s got the skinny for ya. Or, if you really want to see the thiccest ass-shake in town, here’s the link to my OnlyFans. Yes, it’s absolutely savage. Enjoy the chicky-cherry cola.
Right, right, standard disclaimer time. I don’t make any guarantee as to the safety of products featured on this site. What I do is judge quality and hope against hope it means the same thing. You take the advice of a mentally deranged internet weirdo at your own risk. Fair enough, my dandies and dandesses? Then dan up that dan, Dandandan! /stroke
Purple Cheesecake (Heady Club DC)
We’re gonna start with Heady Club DC’s Purple Cheese(cake) cuz I know what my baby likes- efficient sativa effects that aid your productivity and won’t drag you down. This right here is It. It won’t even put you down at night if you gotta burn that midnight oil for capitalism. Turns your brainwaves into the golden tube thru which the goose shit of your words and thoughts shall slide ever-so-smoothly. Speaking of smooth, Purple Cheesecake’s smoke is incredibly so, with a pleasant, woodsy aroma to boot. Get it now, thank me later. You got shit to do!
Black Gas (District Connect)
Next up, Black Gas from District Connect! Gorgeous purple hues so deep and dark they draw your gaze toward its infinite blackness, like a…black…hole. Really? Is this the best you nerds came up with? Sigh. I’m surrounded by amateurs. Uh, anyway…it exhibits a sour aroma, a smooth, tasty smoke, and high psychoactivity. Black Gas sets my neurons ablaze with ideas, which is why I smoked it before I sat down to write and it’s going smashingly, clearly. An excellent choice for brainstorming but probably too energetic for meditation. Still good for daytime, but expect some social impact when your head is in another galaxy.
GMO Cookies (Baked DC)
Now if you’re looking for a potent indica to knock the caffeine outta yer mouth, I would recommend GMO Cookies from Baked DC. This one has rendered the Gentleman unconscious without fail in the evenings, and sometimes in the morning, too- or at least, horizontal. Which is fine if it’s snowing outside and your only ambition for the next few hours is scrolling through Reddit til the memes are all Polish and German. GMO Cookies smoke clean, but those shaggy trichomes add some heft. Expect some coughing if you don’t adjust accordingly.
Octane Mint Sorbet (Exotic Blooms)
Exotic Blooms’ Octane Mint Sorbet provides a zen-like state of mind. Anxiety eliminated, mood stabilized, and both accomplished without incurring fatigue. Suitable for rote tasks during the day, it’s primary appeal to me (aside from its creamy aroma and easy smoke) is pre-workout. I’ve gotta lose some of these lockdown pounds, but like normal people, I don’t like exercising until after I’ve exercised. Some Octane Mint Sorbet has been a boon along with playing Ring-Fit Adventures on the Switch, cuz beating up tiny goblins with squats distracts my brain from realizing that working out sucks. Remember, Gentlemen, that exercise is a key component to successful sexual adventures!
Zookies (Lucky Chuckie)
Lucky Chuckie cruises into the winner’s circle this month with their Zookies flower! This one’s the mirror image of the previous entry, but from the indica side. You’ll feel cool, calm, and collected after this smooth, spice-scented smoke, but increasingly enervated over time, eventually falling to the siren song of sleep. Zookies would make a fantastic companion to binging some quality drama in your mid/late evening. Magicians S5 just dropped on Netflix, but it’s the last season. Sigh. Everything I love fades away. But you’ll never leave me, will you, Teddy Ruxpin? /pulls cord HahAhaHA you got that right, Teddy! Fires are fun! /pulls cord
No new entries this time! Here’s my running list of edibles I like from DC Initiative 71 brands right now:
- Puff Kings‘ line of in-house edibles, especially their Gummies
- THC Drops (distillate tincture) from Baked DC
- Street Lawyer Services‘ Truffles, Baghead Boys Gummies, & Chill Pills
- Noob Gummies from Exotic Organics
- Select Co-Op’s Big Bad Sour Bears & Belgian Chocobites
- District Connect’s Flamin’ Hot Cheetos
- MOTA brand edibles, available at Baked DC, Street Lawyer Services, and Bagged Buds (especially the Fruity Krispy Treats)
No new entries here either. Lo siento! Here’s the current list of folks that use my recommended DC-based CO2 extraction team:
No new entries this round! Previous winners currently available include:
- Hash Rosin from Green Kings
- Select Co-Op’s THCa Crystalline
- Next Level Pre-rolls from Peace in the Air & Gifted Curators
- LitStix from VIP Clientele
Joint Delivery Co usually has a nice selection, too.