Ah, my gnarly, grotesque goblins, your Gentleman is positively gleeful as the ancient Harvest Festival approaches! Halloween weekend is the one time of year that my preferred method of socializing with ladies- getting hammered in the corner of a bar by myself, casting hungry, furtive glances has a chance of securing conversation without me having to give up anything but a little dignity and, you know, I just realized that has never worked once ever. Shit. I mean, I’m pretty, but like, an adult version of a Norman Rockwell kid. Do I have time to get a face tattoo? No? Dammit. I am actually going to have to talk to people in public. This is Acure By Design Plus’ fault! I should be laid up in agony, my stupid leg too stupid to let me go anywhere. But OOOOH NOOOO they had to gift me some of this awesome CBD Tincture Spray that knocks my pain right out and now I don’t have any excuse to be antisocial and preemptively depressed. Phooey.
I’m kidding, of course. The Gentleman is very grateful to Acure for this excellent medicine. I’ve talked a lot about how flowers and dabs don’t usually help me with my muscle aches and spasms, and how edibles just tend to take my mind off the pain. I don’t want you guys to get the wrong idea- cannabis does help for pain, and in my case, the right medicine is a topical. Acure’s CBD Tincture Spray is for both topical use and oral ingestion. The bottle contains 125mg of CBD along with MCT oil, which stands for Medium-Chain Triglycerides. See, Acure’s focus is on making medicine with high bioavailability. MCT oil allows the CBD to bypass the liver, so your body gets more cannabinoids.
If this were a standard review, I’d have experimented further with taking the spray orally, but I could only spare a few pumps for this method because it just works so damn good as a topical (for the record, I did feel a CBD head effect from doing so). I got this wad of inflammation in my hip that makes my leg muscles stiff and ache like hell. It gets bad whenever I’m sitting or laying down for a while- you know, like sleeping. Every morning I wake up and my leg is being a total asshole. For over a week, when the pain is really bad, or when I know I have to do something like drive that will exacerbate it, I’ve put 5-6 sprays and rubbed it in to the affected area. Within minutes, not only is the pain lessened, but the muscle tension is eased. I feel just like a real boy! I can run and jump and okay, neither of those things, but I can get in my car without screaming and I can exercise, which is the long-term solution to getting healthy. While the leg inevitably cramps back up, I have 3-4 good hours if I’m mostly sitting, but if I get up and go for a nice walk, too, then I can have a good day.
I can even sit down for a few hours in the evening and enjoy my favorite show of the new fall season, The Gifted. It’s an X-Men spinoff on Fox and I remember it being billed as New Mutants, but this is way, way cooler. It’s like a prequel to Days of Future Past starring Thunderbird, Polaris, Blink, and I thought it was Sunspot but his name is Eclipse, so they’re clearly fucking around a bit. It’s got a few kinks I hope they get worked out, as this last episode was a bit clumsy, but I say that out of a deep appreciation for the Mutant Underground. Oh, do you think Cable will show up?
Luckily for you and I, we needn’t wait on a time-traveling mutant cyborg with a zillion utility pockets to bring us medicine from the future that can relieve our suffering. That could take an entire season, maybe longer! Nope, we only have to travel to one of DC’s many cannabis events where Acure by Design Plus is making an appearance to get their awesome CBD gifts (did ya see my review of their Isolate?) You’ll know where to go if you Follow them on Instagram. And I know you’re excited about Halloween, but don’t forget to Subscribe to my Newsletter, pweeeeez?