DMV Organics- they with the edibles your Gentleman went full GaGa for a while back, you remember– well, they’ve also got a phenomenal line of craft-batch concentrate that I’m sure you’ll enjoy as much as me. Even better news! DMV Organics now has (limited) pick-up and du-du-duh DELIVERY options available. Here’s the link from their Facebook page where you can sign up to get some of the finest cannabis-infused medibles and terpy dabs in the city delivered if you’re understandably too buried in W2s and 1099s at the moment (Eeep! Tax Day is Tuesday!) to make it out to one of the many DC cannabis events they’re featured at. Like the DC Edibles Festival on April 23, for which you can WIN TWO FREE TICKETS if you just sign up for my eensy-weensy little newswetter, mister.
Don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter and deliveries via email after you complete the app! Here, you should probably read the instructions for yourself from their Facebook page. That’ll make more sense in a minute.
Ooh, I better address something really quick. The Event Calendar is currently out of service. My bads. I expect we’ll be bringing it back in some fashion or another very soon, but for the time being, I suggest you follow your favorite growers, extract artists, and canna-chefs on Instagram. Me, too, please!
Right, so I’m working on a pitch count tonight. Fifty-one weeks out of the year, my back is only a mild nuisance (so long as I don’t do anything stupid like sneeze wrong or whatever), which enables me to forget for a few weeks how I need to keep up with my exercises and not layabout like a sedentary, cheese-munching stereotypical American from some corny Russian cartoon strip (they have comics there, right?), which leads to the one week where my back is completely, totally fucked. I have stretched. I have iced. I have been chiropractically-adjusted three times in less than twenty-four hours, been electrocuted far past what I previous thought my tolerance was and cooed like a baby duckling for more. Tonight, I have eaten some 90mg in canna-caps and another 100mg in a Rice Krispy treat, plus an expired muscle relaxer. Chill, it’s fine, it’s not even been a year yet.
I’m seriously concerned that every time I sit or lay down I won’t be able to get back up, and now that I’m officially divorced and no one gives a shit if I live or die, I am going to have to take a goddam ambulance back to the chiropractor. Hospital? Sure, if I wanna be grilled for hours by ER doctors suspicious that my debilitating spasms are but a ruse from this Daniel Day Lewis of pill poppers, just swinging through for my Obama-Care paid fix. No thanks, I’ll pass on the hernia check- that’s where they put a finger up your ass, which is medicine when a doctor does it, so long as he keeps his clothes on and doesn’t make mmmm sounds during- for the reward of extra-strength Ibuprofen and take dabs instead. But, hell if JPP can come back to Pro Bowl form after blowing off his finger, your Gentleman can make it through this week’s review and they can cart me off the field after. Put me in, Coach! Pain is for Mondays! Woo!Close the door, son.
Straight to the point, then! DMV Organics has one of the best vape cartridges available and easily the best locally-made pen I’ve tried. This is one of those samples I get and love so much that I end up smoking half of it before I remember I’ve got to save it for the review! I had their Fire OG cartridge. The first thing to point out is the taste. A good cartridge should taste pleasant, or at least neutral (in the case of CO2), never harsh like some I’ve found around. DMV Organics’ vape delivers a smooth, flavorful hit. The Fire OG tasted of pine with just a sprinkle of citrus. The second point is the potency. While not as strong as a dab, naturally, DMV Organics’ cartridge had me medicated in four to five pulls, providing an excellent daytime boost against depression and anxiety that left me alert and awake to crank through my ever-growing task list.
DMV Organics’ shatter is also exemplary and I’ve stopped by their table several times to try the latest flavors (thank you for the fat birthday dab of Lock-Tite!). Larry OG is our subject, and he stands a proud, dull gold, sporting wonderful clarity and bright, lemony terps that’ll have your tastebuds singing like a flock of tiny Disney birds (check…am I still making sense? Yes? Oh, good, we’ll push on). It’s a very chill strain, as I recall from my previous experiments, and where some limonene-heavy strains impair cognition, this one trades some euphoric buoyancy for a clearer head. You can get stuff done, or you can binge watch TV. It’s your call, cowboy! Don’t forget about those taxes (this is more a reminder to me than you, I assume you don’t always wait until the last minute so that guests to your foyer assume you’re running a Boiler Room. Look at you, all responsible. I bet you own two suits).
Uh…hem. Well. As feared, this one is rapidly getting away from me, plus I’ve exceeded my word count again. Hoorah! So let’s sum it up. DMV Organics not only features some of the best edibles you’ll find around DC, they’re also gifting some of the terpiest concentrate and some truly excellent vape cartridges. You will be very happy you tried them. Follow DMV Organics on Instagram to stay up to date and don’t forget about the delivery sign-up.