Kalm Fusion Chewable Tablets

Today we’re reviewing the Kalm Fusion THC Tablets available from Maryland’s medical marijuana dispensaries. Classic edibles like brownies, cookies, & gummies will be on shelves soon. In the meantime, let’s look at these weed pills!

(Psst. You can go straight to the Review or my Verdict if you want)

Who is Kalm Fusion?

Right, so Kalm Fusion is a MariMed brand licensed in Maryland by Kind Therapeutics along with:

Nature’s Heritage is obviously the torso/head of our weed Voltron, but the DabTabs are legit and I could see them being the sword arm piloted by a smart, gutsy girl pilot. Anyway.

Kalm Fusion MD MMJ tablets package photo

Kind Therapeutics is a medical marijuana grower and processor in Hagerstown. MariMed, of course, is the organization that brought on former Speaker John Boner. I mean Boehner. Sorry, force of habit. MariMed’s website is filled with articles about how they’re such a hot stock so invest now Now NOW!

But it’s light on info about where exactly MariMed operates. I had to pull it from their investor’s 10k annual filing. That’s what you pay me for, baby!

The Company currently provides ongoing management oversight or real estate services to six independent operations in six states – Delaware, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Nevada, and Rhode Island.

Kalm Fusion Characteristics

Kalm Fusion Chewable Tablets come in a tin of 50 tablets at 5mg apiece- that’s 250mg! Ok, y’all serious. They cost $50 which seems high but is accurate for the standard 100mg THC= $20 price formula. They only come in THC or CBD versions, but there’s different flavors to choose from. I got THC Pineapple. I was feeling tropical.

Kalm Fusion MD MMJ pills photo

The tablets size isn’t a concern since they’re chewable. They’ve got the dosage etched into one side and their logo on the other. So you don’t get them confused with your other yellow pills. Smart.

The Pineapple tablets are super-sour. Really, really sour. I can dig that! No canna-burps. I dig that, too.

Testing Conditions

A friend suggested I dissolve them under my tongue for maximum potency. I don’t have the patience to do that with half a dozen pills. It’s boring. BOOORRRREDDDD. MA! WE’RE BORED!!! YES, IT’S CLEAN. Wait, no, don’t check. Crap, I gotta go, guys.

Kalm Fusion MD MMJ ingredient photo

Here’s the scenarios I tested Kalm Fusion Tablets under:

  • 35mg, noon, before a day-long concert
  • 50mg, evening, before Avengers
  • 50mg, morning, per my jutsu
  • 25mg late night

Kalm Fusion Effects

I didn’t notice any effect the day of the show. Didn’t notice anything watching Endgame, either. I didn’t have a full stomach when I took the tablets either day, but I wasn’t applying my low dosage method rigorously and to the letter.

Kalm Fusion MD MMJ lab results photo
No terps, THC and a little CBD only

When I did that and took 50mg, I definitely felt it. Kalm Fusion tablets do work. It took almost an hour to kick in. When it did, it was potent enough that I could have gone without smoking, but not enough that I wanted to. I decided to eat and blaze a joint after forty minutes. I’d seen all I needed to see here.

I did experience a mild sedative effect, but since we were crossing the streams at that point, I couldn’t be sure. I delayed this review a couple days so I could run a test at night. It amplified my exhaustion and helped me get to bed within an hour of ingestion. Neither overwhelmed me like some other products. Kalm Fusion Tablets seem to be best used as a gentle sleep aid.

Gentleman Rejected

$50 for 250mg is fair enough. But when it takes 50mg and special preparation just to get a light buzz goin, you’re off-target. Even at a 25mg dose as a mild Ambien substitute, that’s $5 a night, which seems too high. Dixie tablets are stronger and about the same price when you work out the mg equivalency. Kalm has a long onset time, too.

I love how sour the Kalm Fusion Chewable Tablets are, but I’m not paying $20 for a bag of Skittles. I like that the dosage and logo are etched on. They’re just not doggone darn-tootin potent enough when matched against their local competitors.

Therefore, Kind Therapeutics/MariMed brand just earned its second rejection. Now I wish I’d have done DabTabs first just to mix it up. Oh well. Maybe John Boehner & Co ought to learn how to make good products before they go licensing them around everywhere. Just a thought.