Even if we’re all still dreaming of the day when we could just walk into a recreational dispensary, buy legal marijuana, and walk out the door, you can still find ways to get what you need, and your Gentleman has all the intel you need for getting cannabis in Maryland.
Of course, if you have any legal questions, I always advise you have a chat with a lawyer cuz there’s a billion of em around here and I’m just a claymation homunculus meself.
You wanna know where to get your hands on the good stuff and the Gentleman has got more state secrets than Jack Bauer.
But hold up a sec!
You probably also don’t wanna to get hit with a hefty fine or even spend a little time in the clink.
So, here’s the deal: recreational pot is still illegal in the state of Maryland (we think it’s stupid, too.)
The bright spot is that possession of anything less than 10 grams of pot has officially been decriminalized.
So you can just blaze blunts in front of City Hall all day blasting NWA and nobody can say anything, right? The answer isn’t that simple. It never is with weed. Sigh.
Decriminalization just means that you can’t face criminal charges for having some weed on you.
In other words, if you run into the cops, you won’t get hit with a criminal penalty, but they will confiscate your dope and hit you with a fine.
If you’re caught with less than 10 grams, you can get off easy with just a $100 fine.
If you’ve got more than that, you’re looking at a misdemeanor penalty or $1000 in fines.
You better believe they’re gonna add the weight of the baggie, so skew under.
FYI, edibles are usually weighed as the entire cookie or tincture or whatever, not the percentage of THC they contain, so you could rack up more than 10g real fast with Grandma’s world-famous Pearl Jam. Be careful!
You’re not allowed to smoke in public or behind the wheel even as an MMJ patient- keep your medicine at home and locked up tight!
Getting Your Maryland MMJ Card
Medical marijuana is totally legal in Maryland!
But patients aren’t allowed to grow it themselves. Medical marijuana patients in MD are locked into the dispensary system for medicine.
I know, I’m all blue sad crying face emoji about it, too.
Good news is that getting your medical card is super-easy!
It can take a while for the state to process your application, though, so you want to get on it ASAP.
Look, I’ll level with you.
Any state that allows chronic pain, as Maryland does, is pretty much an open door for anyone to get a medical marijuana card (you do need to be a resident).
Your Gentleman personally suffers from PTSD on account of some two-bit thug murdering my parents in an alley after they took me to see the Zorro movie, but don’t worry, I’ve been training in a Chinese fighting prison for years and I’m so ready to dispense vigilante justice you can see my nipples through this leather suit, look.
If your usual doctor is registered with the Maryland Medical Marijuana Commission, they can help you with the recommendation you’ll need to become a patient and you might just have to pay a co-pay (assuming you have health insurance).
You can also look up providers on the MMCC website. But if you just want to get your card ASAP, then hit up my friends at Veriheal, they’ll hook you up with one of their canna-friendly docs lickety-split for $200.
Maryland Medical Marijuana Dispensaries
The Gentleman has been bouncing around Maryland’s medical marijuana scene since the dispensaries first opened in December ‘17. FYI, a lot of dispensaries offer delivery if you can’t make it to the store or can direct you to caregivers that are licensed to get your cannabis medicine for you.
On the outskirts of Washington DC, you should check out RISE in Silver Spring or Bethesda (also Joppa). They’re operated by Green Thumb Industries who also operates the Rythm processor brand and has the license for Mary’s Medicinals transdermal patches in Maryland.
I really like Rythm’s CO2 extracted vape cartridges, got to visit the lab, and thought very highly of their process and staff.
The RISE dispensaries are co-owned by former Baltimore Ravens tackle Eugene Monroe, who is humongous, but also a very nice guy, and I hate that the team cut him because he took a public stance on medical marijuana’s benefits.
Hailing from Las Vegas, the Verano brand consistently has the best flowers out of everything I’ve smoked so far, but they tend to be the priciest.
They also do their own extraction so you’ll find Verano’s Sunrock Shatter, vapes, and ingestibles like their gummy troches at lots of dispensaries, but for the best selection, check out their vertically-integrated shop ZenLeaf in Columbia and Jessup.
The Gentleman also has a strong appreciation for Grassroots products and when I lived over in Frederick, routinely bypassed closer dispensaries Euphoria Wellness and Kannavis to drive down to Gaithersburg for better prices and to have my pick of flower from their deli-style dispensary (which means the flower isn’t prepackaged), plus their concentrate is probably top-of-class in the state right now. It’s come a long way since my review here and their RSO is still fantastic! I’ve finally settled on Iditarod as my favorite.
I have developed a strong appreciation for Dixie ingestibles like their Awakening Tablets and infused Tea (as Maryland doesn’t currently allow traditional edibles like THC infused cookies and brownies and hard candies and whatnot).
The Dixie brand is multi-state and licensed locally by Curio Wellness whose shop is located in Timonium.
If you’re visiting Charm City, which you totally should because Baltimore is awesome, then you should check out Maggie’s, a charming shop in Camden with some fantastic deals (got a gram of very nice Nature’s Heritage shatter there for $24 on a recent Friday night) and Culta’s dispensary on Key Highway (you barely have to go into the city at all!).
I’ve seen some fantastic flower from Culta recently and bought more of their shatter than any other brand because it’s reasonably priced at $40 a gram and the quality is consistent. It tastes clean, y’know what I mean, Verne? Insiders know that GreenLabs in Fells Point has one of the hottest deals around- $18 eighths of three select strains all day Sunday draws crowds all day long.
Just outside the city in Reisterstown, you’ll find processor Curaleaf’s store– they make some fantastic CO2 & distillate extracts. I was impressed with Temescal Wellness’ dispensary in Pikesville but even more so with their flower- well worth a visit!
In Prince George’s County, Mary & Main in Capitol Heights boasts the youngest dispensary owner in the United States, Hope Wiseman, so show her some love!
Farther south, I dig Southern Maryland Relief in Mechanicsville a lot, great folks there that love the community. They’ve got dispensaries in Ocean City but be discreet- your Gentleman was tossed out on his ass by the Commander Hotel last summer.
I-71 IN WASHINGTON DC
But maybe you don’t want a medical card because you have top-secret government clearances to operate bazooka drones, or maybe you don’t want to forfeit your collection of firearms.
Cool cool cool. You’ve got some options on social media and other sites, but a quick trip down to Washington DC and you can find gift weed delivery or pick-up from a ton of awesome brands your Gentleman has personally vetted. You can find more info about how weed gifting works in DC on this page.
In short: you’re not buying the flowers, you’re buying the other thing they’re selling for you, whether that’s baseball cards, books, whatever.
They give you the goods as a gift — a token of their affection and appreciation, if you will. Just let ’em know where you wanna meet up and when they’re generally very flexible.
If you’re willing to risk it for the biscuit, you can try looking for other Maryland marijuana enthusiasts on social media like Instagram and Facebook or apps like Mass Roots and High There!
Or check out LeafedIn.org, there are some brands there operating in Maryland, but I can’t vet these guys for you so stay smart and stay safe! And please don’t forget who told you where to get weed when the zombies come!
CBD Stores in Maryland
Have you heard about CBD, the other cannabinoid in weed that doesn’t get you high but has actually been used in an FDA-approved medication to treat epilepsy? Anecdotal evidence abounds that CBD can help you fight inflammation, anxiety, pain, even more serious ailments.
Personally, I find topicals the most useful- CBD is what BenGay is supposed to be and opioids just mask pain signals, not actually heal my jacked-up back. You generally want a Full-Spectrum to include as many helpful cannabinoids, terpenes, and other mystery compounds of which Science Not Yet Kens as you can get, which will probably include a tiny, allowable percentage of THC so keep that in mind if you’re regularly drug-tested.
You should be okay if you’re only using it as a topical, but it’s your job and I’m just an invisible voice on the internet, sooooo. And keep in mind that CBD is definitely psychoactive, it just doesn’t get you “high.” It gets you “calm.”
Not only can you find CBD at every head shop, tobacco shop, even freakin’ gas stations in the wake of last year’s McConnell-championed Farm Bill that legalized growing hemp, specialty brick, and mortar stores have been popping up everywhere!
Personally, I really dig 529 Vapes in Baltimore, located in the historic Fells Point neighborhood, and there’s a place that infuses organic hipster juices with CBD like a block away from there. Plus you can get it shipped to you over the internet! Check out my friends at District Hemp. I’ve got lots of CBD reviews here and workin on more, there is a deluge of products on the market right now!
It’s 2019, When Will Recreational Weed be Legal in Maryland?
While there is a groundswell of support for legalizing recreational/adult-use cannabis among Marylanders and their legislature, Governor Hogan has been noncommittal on the matter to date and could stand in the way of long-overdue end of marijuana prohibition in the Old Line State, following the example of Gov. LePage in Maine when they legalized marijuana years ago but still don’t have recreational dispensaries. Stay tuned to GT for updates! We’ll be free to celebrate 4/20 soon enough, baby!