Purple Jagoo (God’s Gift LLC)

Did you miss me, my singing, bloodthirsty flora? Pardon the slightly extended absence. It’s all very hush hush, you see, so allow me to direct your attention with a twirl of my cane and flourish of finely waxed mustachio towards my newest I71 find, God’s Gift LLC.

Their mission is to promote the music of the brand’s founders, rap duo Bing Brovas, and solicit donations towards studio time by gifting cannabis via delivery (with pick up in SW available). In the Gentleman’s lofty opinion, gifting cannabis in exchange for promoting art or other causes seems like a very synergistic utilization of the District’s progressive marijuana laws.

Bam! That’s, like, Prince’s bathroom purple, with the jewels to match, baby! Beyond the trichomes, the buds are dense, just a little sticky, and the manicure is tight. Her pungent scent reminds me very much of The Purps, a sweet, earthy mixture but rank with diesel fumes.

With flowers this good, God’s Gift artists are gonna get a lot of attention. Info on this particular cultivar is scant, but it’s safe to guess the other parent is Jagoo, descended from the well-known Afgoo, a particularly sticky indica achieved by crossing an Afghani landrace with the famed Maui Wowie.

Ooh, it’s just like the Kardashians, but interesting! Did Maui really hook up with some rando? Is Light of Jah really Jagoo’s father? Will the truth push him to bang The Purps in confused, animal frustration, even though he is betrothed to Hashplant? Tune in next week to find out! Ah, who am I kidding? I won’t remember this joke by then.

God’s Gift’s Purple Jagoo isn’t harsh at all but the smoke is thick and will likely make you cough. The high is fantastic, again, very reminiscent of The Purps. It’s billed as an indica, but it isn’t going to put me to sleep. In fact, I get a slight energy boost, physically, while my mind remains relaxed.

I can think, but I’d rather work out or clean. It doesn’t take me long to clean. I’ve got my own space and not much stuff, cuz I don’t like a whole lot of stuff dragging me down.

I do need a little more stuff- an end table would be favorite, cuz I’m using a flipped over storage bin right now. It doesn’t bother me, personally, as it’s a step up from some of the furniture I’ve used over the years, on account of the lack of hobo organs inside.

But I’d hate for a lady friend to be forever shunned by her peers for her romantic association with a man who thinks furniture is just an upside-down box, minus spiders. Therefore, end table.

This batch of Purple Jagoo has made quite a first impression on your Gentleman. You can find God’s Gift LLC on Instagram to arrange a look-see for yourself. Also, got a sample of some other gifts like Blue Kush OG that they were considering adding to the menu that was of similar, high quality.

Read more REVIEWS