2019 and we are still finding new brands eager to enter DC’s frenzied fray of gift weed delivery & pick-up services, each determined to be faster, better, and more unique than those that came before. Pinnacle Product sells collectibles like sets of die-cast cars but they don’t need really need any fancy gimmicks, as these flowers are some of the best I’ve seen in the District since Initiative 71 legalized cannabis possession, growing, and sharing with other adults.
The law is murky on whether that applies to pet velociraptors genetically modified to respond to your empathic command but you try telling Lucy she can’t have any more Purple Lambo and see how that goes for you. No! Down, girl! I was just explaining to the internet! Here here here I’ll light it for you. Aww. Who’s Cretaceous? You are! Yes you are!
Delivery & Pick-Up (DC)
Ok we got a few minutes to chat if we keep our voices down. Pinnacle Product sells collectibles- sets of die-cast cars, trading cards, that whole nostalgia vibe that’s popular now cuz everyone so stressed over this half-baked alternate timeline even though aliens are probably real and there’s gonna be a Space Force and everything, which is good cuz we’re gonna need another planet to live on soon. Hey, did you ever think that maybe we’re the hostile alien invaders? And they’re gonna be all like “Oh man we gave you pyramids and everything why?” and we’re gonna be like we can’t hear you over the KABLOOM suckas!!! Then all their Energon cubes will belong to us.
Pinnacle Product gave the Gentleman three different strains to sample, Purple Lambo, Magic Jordan, and Blue Dahmer. Each of these flowers is aesthetically pleasing, both visually and, uh, nasally? My spell-check doesn’t like olfactorily. The buds are on the smaller side, Blue Dahmer in particular, but well-manicured to remove extraneous stems and sugar leaf from getting in the way of those pretty trichomes. The Magic Jordan is the most stacked with glorious cannabinoid-rich diamonds but Purple Lambo is close behind.
All the samples exhibited ideal density and moisture retention, grinding down to a fine, smooth consistency that reminds me of running my finger along a shag carpet (and also happens to be perfect for packing into pre-rolled cones). Magic Jordan and Purple Lambo had sublime noses- MJ is all sugary sweet and the Lambo exemplary Purp woodsiness, but even smoother and bolder, like a real Italian espresso compared to a K-Cup. Both smoked incredibly smooth and were packed with flavor. Blue Dahmer is a more traditional dank, sporting an aroma that’s rich, earthy, and spicy, a tad harsher, but its competition is stiffer than [METAPHOR CENSORED- JOIN THE THOUGHT POLICE TODAY! WE KNOW YOU WANT TO]
Purple Lambo is a strong indica and a was a challenging choice for a busy morning. The mood boost is strong, enough to snap me out of a particularly nasty funk, but so is the appetite enhancement. I have a light breakfast every morning that simply won’t satisfy the Purple Lambo’s munchies. Half an hour later I’m hungry, by an hour I’m absolutely starving. Without some coffee, you’ll be glued to the couch right after, or back in bed. The Gentleman adores this Purple Lambo but it’s best reserved for the evening when you can kick back and binge some Venture Bros, or perhaps some other, more horizontal activities with friends? Raaar.
Magic Jordan was very calming, like, shockingly so. I passed a friendly face on the way back from my toke and their enthusiastic greeting was met by my stoically stoned “Hey,” as though their presence in this hallway at this moment had been foretold in cuneiform prophecies and I, High Priest of this long-forgotten sect of Hallwaymen, had been expecting them, and are they prepared to face the Chupacabra Khan, truly? So, a bit socially awkward, but I could still think clearly, and approved for daytime so long as you stay inside.
Blue Dahmer was a blessing to a fatigued Gentleman last night. I’ve been busting my ass on new content, some of which isn’t ready to show you quite yet(!), plus getting my apartment together- I’ve just existed in my last few stops, but I’ve started nesting in Baltimore. The pictures are even hung up, look! Anyway, I didn’t clock out til 8 last night, but after a half-gram jay of Blue Dahmer, I was suddenly remembering the checklist items I had forgotten and motivated to get up, shower, and go out in public. The only seat at the wine bar was at a table for four seats and standing at a bar by myself is a big anxiety trigger so I started having a panic attack, but got it under control long enough to escape into my phone and enjoy my Pinot Noir. Well, drink it, anyway.
The Gentleman approves of all three Pinnacle Product gift samples with Purple Lambo earning the highest marks. I am certain that you will enjoy these gifts and will definitely be keeping an eye on Pinnacle for new drops, because if this is what we can expect on the regular, you’re gonna want get your hands on new gifts before they run out. Call 202-892-8991 to set up your appointment! No, Lucy, I didn’t say we were out! Let go of Daddy’s arm, please.