SoFloGrow Vape Pen (High Focus)

High Focus has long distinguished themselves among your many Initiative 71 options with quick, friendly delivery service and excellent cannabis flower gifts. Now they’ve gone and upgraded their vape game with cartridges from SoFlowGrow and, naturally, they wanted a Gentleman’s opinion.

SoFlowGrow vapes clock in at a slightly lower dose than most cartridges, around 60-63% THC vs 70%+. Not exactly a microdose, but it’s marketed to folks that need to medicate throughout the day and on-the-go without losing a step. After trying it out for a few weeks, I think it’s a fantastic product. Where were these when I was an office drone?

SoFloGrow’s disposable, recyclable vape pens come in three popular strains, Jack Herer, Pineapple Express, and GSC. They feature buttonless activation and a 210mAh battery is housed in the unit, so literally all you have to do is take a puff. You can see how much is left in the little window.

Each vape contains half a gram of cannabis oil and solvent-free terpenes that taste like CO2 extraction to me (not specified on their site), discreetly camouflaged as a tiny, nearly odorless electronic cigarette. Making you, like, a weed ninja amongst the other grey-suited Agent Smiths. A ganj-inja. Gaijin Ganj-inja. Yes, that’s better.

If you’ve been following, you know I’m a big proponent of medicating throughout the day, but I’ll be the first to admit there can be some drawbacks to heavy psychoactivity. It’s just that for me, they’re outweighed by the benefits.

I make do with the fact that I’ll occasionally be drowsy, overstimulated, or slightly telepathic, making everyday interactions just, so unbelievably awkward when you know the sales clerk is conspiring a horse assassination with her sociopathic jockey lover. Poor Sugar Lumps.

Anyway, that’s why I stick to the automated checkout or, preferably, delivery, since drones don’t stick around long enough for my psychometric scanners to register their long-form imprint on this time-fractal. Hmmm. Curious…

Not to worry. I have an inside man.

SoFloGrow’s pens get me there without pushing me over. They aren’t potent enough that I’d use them at home to just chill and catch up on Black Mirror, but after some experimentation, I knew my Jack Herer cart from High Focus was an obvious choice to go apartment shopping. Hooray!

I understand some folks would be looking at owning property as they cruise steadily towards 40, but I need the flexibility, plus I lived in a house for a while and it wasn’t for me. There’s so much stuff you gotta take care of if you own a house and it’s all a pain in the ass. Don’t even get me started on HOAs.

Oh, now you done it! So let me get this right, I “own” my own home but still gotta get clearance from a conglomerate of annoying fart-sniffing busybodies if I want to make some changes to my fucking door? Pass. Hard pass.

A Winnebago, on the other hand…traveling the country, cookin’ up meth in the desert with my best friend Jesse, drinking Mad Dog 20/20 with strange trailer park ladies…sigh. Where was I? Oh, right.

The Jack Herer kept me spirits bright and my mind sharp as I toured several buildings. My weed was at a proper volume for chatting with the leasing staff, as I could focus on the conversation without drifting off and even remembered to ask important questions about their communities’ zombie-preparedness plans. Let’s just say they were uniformly unimpressive.

The SoFloGrow vape pen, on the other hand, is a tremendously balanced medicine well-suited to the hectic DMV lifestyle. I think you’re gonna like ’em.