Soros-Funded Prosecutors Win NOVA

Here’s your weekly dose of DMV weed news, my bouncing babies!

Washington, DC

Alright, the headline to today’s article is scandalous on purpose. I mean, it’s totally true. I just got a bad case of headline envy after reading “Feds: D.C. Man Arrested on Drug Charges Turned Out to Be ISIS Sympathizer” on The Washington Times’ site. Sigh. That’s freakin awesome.

I read it, he dealt meth, nothing to do with I71, just some pictures of weed on his Instagram. But I want to write cool headlines, too, darn it! And Soros riles up the lizard people somethin fierce.

So, uh. Anyway. Stuff you might want to know about in DC this week include this article from Marijuana Moment about the various amendments to cannabis law Congress is considering this coming week.

Oh! and this one from WaPo about how Congressional Republicans ended the District’s bid to legalize sex work between consenting adults this week. Y’know, in case you forgot what happened with I71.

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Virginia

Ok let’s get to the juicy stuff! Our mighty leader, George Soros, pumped big big bucks into Arlington and Fairfax County elections for Commonwealth’s Attorney and both his horses won. These counties are heavily tilted Left, so winning the primaries is basically winning the election, assuming there’s no Skeletors in the closet.

EDIT: I mixed up Bezos and Soros in the analysis of the post/newsletter. I guess all billionaires look alike to me. Hahaha! My bad. FAKE NEWS FAKE NEWS! LOCK GT UP!

Congrats to Parisa Dehghani-Tafti (Arlington) and Steve T. Descano (Fairfax)! We need more folks like y’all in office.

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Maryland

Montgomery County State’s Attorney McCarthy claims that the majority of drug-related homicides in these upscale Maryland zip codes are related to marijuana.

Well, technically I heard him say that he can’t think of a single case in the last several years that wasn’t related to marijuana in that video, but I’m gonna extend the benefit of the doubt here.

What made me jump up and scream “OH MY STARS AND GARTERS” was when he said he didn’t have an issue with Maryland’s medical marijuana policy per se, but that the products are expensive and of low quality, which keeps the black market thriving.

Dios mio! I didn’t realize any State’s Attorneys were fans of my site. Excuse me, I’m just gonna go pomade my hair.

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