New brands and product lines are dropping like Soundcloud singles in Maryland’s medical marijuana program halfway into its first year and the Gentleman’s newest crush is Curaleaf. First I picked up a dropper of their distillate. I was so impressed I grabbed a dropper of their Sweet Kush oil my next trip out. Then I ended up smoking most of both before taking a photo. D’oh. In need of some freshie fresh to write this review, I trekked down to their recently-opened, self-titled shop in Reisterstown to get some more, figuring they’d have the widest selection of their own gear, plus I heard they just came out with their own vape cartridges and live resin I wanted to check out.
Okay, let’s look at the Sweet Kush first. I have reviewed lots of different concentrates and carts in the past couple years, but my favorite products usually end up being CO2 extracts. When you start with high quality flower and know what you’re doing, CO2 yields amazing terpene profiles, excellent potency, and generally costs the same as BHO, PHO, etc, so it’s a better value. Rosin and distillate can both get pricey at the high end, as does hash. While I am definitely itchin’ to return to Cali just so I can get my hands on some name brand hashish to try out, the Gentleman is quite satisfied at the moment with Curaleaf’s superb CO2 droppers like this Sweet Kush. Oh, you might see it called a ‘syringe’ online. They’re phasing that term out, which I support. ‘Dropper’ is an accurate description of its function and sounds, like, way better.
All of the stellar qualities I described above are present in Curaleaf’s Sweet Kush CO2 oil. The delicious terps nearly overwhelm your palette with a rich, organic sweetness that clings to your taste buds as you exhale. Its effect instantaneous, you may temporarily receive Enlightenment and realize the infinite in your mind’s eye, all life connected by matter, energy, and the empty spaces in between. Should this occur, do not panic. Simply enjoy the unfolding of all creation before you until your astral tether snaps you back to the standard 3D limited POV model to which you’re accustomed. Shan’t be but a moment, my young bodhisattva. The Gentleman, of course, is used to such potency, but I was still so high I was talking to myself out loud watching the previews before The First Purge and started eating my popcorn just to shut up. Now, you know I love little more than a good ol’ fashioned Purgin’, so I was super-pumped to check out the prequel. It was…okay. It started out promising, with the interviews of folks with few morals and lots of grudges admitted into The Staten Island Experiment, but it only kept Skeletor around. The crazy old ladies turned into thirty seconds of our first-half protagonist running through an alley full of IEDs, which was creepy cuz they were stuffed in dirty baby dolls, but ultimately harmless and forgotten. It seems to me that in the interest of setting up a realistic backstory for the Purge, they forgot to make a Purge movie, which is supposed to be scary. I liked it, but I thought the trailer for Assassination Nation looked like a better Purge movie than the one I watched, which I had legit thought was the start of the movie I had come to see. Still absolutely dying for a Purge video game, though.
Curaleaf’s distillate dropper is also superb. I’ve sampled many distillates in my time as Gentleman and many failed to meet my standards, as they hit harsh, or had too much artificial flavor added, or both. Curaleaf’s distillate stands out for its clean, rather neutral taste. Like, it creates a kind of vacuum and sucks the flavor out of your mouth, the dabbing equivalent of crackers in between wine flights. Not that you need to do any more dabbing- the potency is outstanding here, as you’d expect from high-quality distillate. A light dab is plenty to correct my mood, quiet my anxiety, and aid my productivity. Today, though, I underestimated how much was left in the dropper and dabbed so much I lost the capacity for complex speech. I tried to convey my esteem for Curaleaf’s products to the budtender, but only managed a half-sensical mumble, possibly about socks.
I did manage to convey through the haze that I wanted a Strawberry Cotton Candy disposable vape pen, which smells and tastes phenomenal. I also tried a single dab of the Moon Dawg live resin- this one needs some work. It tastes okay, but it sizzles when I drop it in the banger, so they didn’t get enough lipids out or something something chemistry. Aside from that, my only teensy-weensy complaint is that the packaging is kinda plain, so you might overlook Curaleaf products for something that looks fancier. The Gentleman assures you, you’d be missing out.
Now, I’m headed over to the Occupy Lafayette Park protest, though I don’t see why we don’t protest at the Russian embassy. I mean, why yell at some lackey when you can harangue the manager, yeah? Committing treason to own the libs, oh my word. So ta for now, chumlies, but please sign up for my newsletter! You could win free weed from Hidden Leaf DC this Friday…