The Gentleman’s Mailbag

Alrighty then.  After three days of of falling asleep before the sun set, I am wired for sound tonight so we’re gonna get to a segment I’ve really been looking forward to.  Fellow insomniacs, let’s see what’s in the Mailbag!

Novice Grower asks:

“Where do you recommend I get seeds from?”

A layup to start, easy!  I recommend DC Seed Exchange.  The folks behind it are great people, very interested in sharing great genetics so Beast Coast bud can rise up to rival the West, and in supplying seeds to sick and needy patients so they can grow their own medicine.

Popular Grower asks:

“Are you giving a biased review because people gave you free weed?  I can’t tell who you donated to and who gifted you.”

Questions come up about my integrity all the time.  I’m used to it at this point and would prefer to tackle it head on- so in the future, instead of arguing with someone, I can just send them this link.

The medical dispensaries and the Initiative 71-compliant delivery services, in general, do not give me anything for my review.  The downside for them is that they do not get a choice in whether their products are reviewed or not.

I am limited in funds and time, like everyone else, and so I have a queue of delivery services to try, with new ones cropping up all the time.  If someone, like Paper Boy Papers Company, is super confident in their product and wishes to leapfrog the line by gifting me flowers, then I am one hundred percent down with that.

That being said, there is simply no amount of money or bud or original Monet paintings that I’ll take to say a bad product is good. What I sell here on GT is my reputation and the minute I take that for granted, this whole enterprise goes south fast and I’m lucky if I make it out of town shirtless, riding an ass backwards.

But you can gift me to say good products are good.  Partnership, baby!

Private growers and private delivery services get the luxury of choosing whether they’re reviewed or not, and in general, do give me a substantial amount.

That’s not a charge- I love writing about good weed and will do it to help build your brand (and add content to my site) for free!  It’s a gift so that I can perform the task of writing about it.  I can’t say much about your bud off a joint, you know?

But if I can try it in the evening, on a weekend morning, before exercise, before writing, watching TV, etc, I can get a good feel for it’s strengths and build up enough words to write you something crazy, probably with elves next time.

And, since I’d rather not get any more death threats, I have a policy about being up front with you if I have any concerns that I won’t be able to give a positive review.

You think I’m just trying to score a free eighth?  Pfffft.  I got weed, dude.

Alternative Solutions, one of DC’s medical marijuana cultivators, writes:

“Alright, in addition to our top notch trim rosin we’re releasing our bud run rosin.  All of it was produced with premium flower!!”

Looks dee-lish!

Looks dee-lish!

Ok, this wasn’t really a question, nor was it directed at me.  But since I’ve been vocal in my disagreement about the quality of their trim rosin- and I knew it was trim, dammit!  I couldn’t get a straight answer on that until now- I wanted to point out that the picture they posted today in their Instagram feed looks exactly like the quality I’ve been asking for.

Now, what’s the price point?

Dispensary Owner writes:

“How does your price index work, exactly?”

I’m happy to explain.  Every DC dispensary lists its menu on StickyGuide.com.  I simply add up all the flowers each dispensary lists on some random day and average them out by the number of entries for various weights.

I don’t include trim.  I do include specials.  I don’t include sign-up/switchover specials.  I do provide a separate chart by cultivator, for comparison.

I’d love to list ounce pricing, but you all don’t usually advertise it.  FYI to other readers- it’s usually around $400.

Some of you all keep to a fairly rigid pricing structure, and so, if a pattern becomes apparent, like Herbal Alternatives’ and National Holistic Healing Center’s pricing, then I fill in any missing data before I take the average.

This is necessary because Herbal Alternatives took out most of their half-ounce prices, replaced them with half-gram pricing instead, and no other dispensary has followed suit.

Some of you, like Takoma Wellness, don’t have clear price structures, and so I simply average out the numbers present.  I think this gives people a snapshot of what cannabis costs at your dispensary, which is important, because Metropolitan Wellness is giving folks the wrong idea of what medicine costs at all the other dispensaries.

And, yes, I called the owner of MWC a “motherfucker” in my speech.  He was actually a pretty cool guy when we met, and I only use that word because I don’t have a nicer one for someone that charges $700 an ounce.

“But that penalizes us for carrying District Growers strains.”

Yeah, I know.  That’s the whole point.  I don’t hate District Growers.  I don’t have some bizarre axe to grind.  District Growers didn’t murder my peaceful mountain village of secret kung fu warriors, laughing manically as they stare at the flames with their single, robot eye and leaving me as sole child survivor to the atrocity.

I just want their prices to come down to a figure that is reasonable for the product- and I want their quality to get better, too.  I’m a demanding Princess!  I can do that by yelling at them on the internet, kinda.

But you, Dispensary Owner, are in a much better position to vote with your purse.  So I’ll exert some pressure, if I can, via my Price Index, because I believe getting DG’s pricing down will help you, help your customers, help them & MWC, too. I’m thinking long-term here, y’all should be, too.

BUDdy writes:

“I met you at the BUD Summit recently.  I’d definitely be interested in seeing and buying some of your wares!”

Hooboy.  To BUDdy and all the other folks who hit me up asking to donate for weed, let’s get this cleared up right now. I would have to be hitting-myself-in-the-head-with-a-shovel DUMB to be out here, using my REAL NAME unlike just about everybody else, giving bad reviews of OTHER PEOPLE’S DOPE, and slangin’ my own on top of it.

I mean, like, pooping-on-a-fire-ant-hill crazy.  I mean, like, you get the idea.  C’mon.  I write reviews, give speeches, and provide some local cannabis news.  I’m trying to help people learn to fish over here*, not open a seafood restaurant.

It probably would have been smarter to go that route, but we are long, long past that fork in the wood, my tiny woodland friends!

*Check out my articles on How to Find Weed in DC and You Qualify for a Medical Card!

MD Valor writes:

“I am a veteran and Maryland resident with chronic shoulder pain and anxiety. I am a daily user as well which has been the deal since day one out of the military. What do you recommend I do as far as flower in the city?”

Ah, this is more like it.

By far, the simplest solution for you is to visit Wash Hydro in Adams Morgan. I thought the bud was comparable to dispensary quality and they gift it to you with purchase of a tee shirt or hat, in compliance with Initiative 71.

My personal recommendation to you, however, is to come out to events! There you’ll be able to meet people, build a network, & most importantly, you’ll be part of the community.

Ive met many other veterans at these events, I think you’ll be right at home. As far as strains go, I think an Indica-leaning hybrid would be a solid choice, like OG Kush, to help with both anxiety & pain.

And, finally, Hot Girl writes:

“Hey fellow toker, out-of-state legit MMJ grower here visiting DC for the first time. Can you point me and my half-dozen college-age also-super-hot (presumably) friends in the direction of some stoner-friendly environments?”

Umm, yeah.  My place.

No, seriously.  DCMJ won’t get back to me that quickly, DC NORML has been undergoing a transitional period, and while most bars and clubs would probably look the other way, I can’t recommend trying that unless you’re willing to get kicked out.  (This was on the one freakin’ night no events were happening).

My place really is the best option on short notice.  It’s, umm, not a problem, it can definitely fit six people, I’m sure it can, and I, uhhh, cleaned it yesterday, so that’s fine, and on the, umm, roof we’ve got a swim- oh, you’ve hung up already.  Great.

That’s it for this mailbag, folks, see ya next time!

-GT