You know the beginning of Office Space, when Peter explains how every day you see him is the worst day of his life? That’s been my month. The only thing I’m not freakin out about are microchips in vaccines. I want that shot so bad I can taste those fuckin antibodies, baby. And if it turns me into a mind-thrall of Bill Gates? Even better! Cuz that dude is smart. I’m sure he’d make better decisions. He’d use, like, calculus or fancy, non-Euclidian geometries or whatever. Speaking of good decisions! Let’s take a look at I71 weed gifts available in Washington DC from Purple Penthouse.
First stop, their website, Purple Penthouse.com. The home page provides a simple breakdown of the order process. Click the Shop button and you’re on your way! You’ll notice that you have to choose between their Washington and New York locations. That’s right, you can enjoy Purple Penthouse in the Big Apple, too. The site has a simple shopping cart system, transparent pricing, gift photos, and clear navigation between product categories- everything you’d expect in a modern website. If you click around a bit, you’ll find they have an extensive catering menu of freshly-made edibles, including infused pizzas! They currently only offer Delivery service.
The Gentleman got to try out a few different gifts from Purple Penthouse. The Pop Tart flowers were quite pleasant, the Moon Rocks more than satisfactory, but I’d like to turn your attention toward their Triangle Kush. Let’s take it by the numbers, shall we?
Aesthetically, the first thing you’ll notice is that these buds feature a panoply of brilliant purple, green, and red hues. Despite the relatively small size of these nugs, they’re densely covered in thick trichomes. Too small to perform a proper moisture test, I’d say they lean a tad dry, but as evidenced by the fine, smooth grind, still easily within acceptable parameters. Density is ideal- these Triangle Kush nugs are tight, well-formed, revealing their full heft when ground. Good marks on bag appeal overall.
Triangle Kush’s scent profile is primarily a cool, herbaceous spice with some diesel along its edge. The smoke is flavorful and eminently smooth. In effect, I find it heavily reminiscent of Trainwreck, but more refined, with less rough edges. Highly potent (as you’d predict from the trichomes), it affects you one a base, spinal cord level. You’re high, but with little impediment to cognition or energy. The heavy psychoactivity can put you to sleep if you’re running on E already, but otherwise its got a very bubbly, sociable vibe, better suited to nights at the Roxbury than binging more television.
But we’re being responsible and staying home, aren’t we? So while I found it difficult to concentrate on Night Court reruns, finally playing Injustice 2 is stimulating enough to capture my attention. I’m maining Harley cuz I’m just a basic bitch for sexy, dangerous clown ladies, I guess. Music is also a helpful distraction! May I suggest this banger by Mahalo? Oh, and Purple Penthouse too, of course!