Wedding Cake (Wifey Treats)

With so many gift weed delivery services filling the space left behind when Congress interfered with DC’s plans for a retail tax and sale program, brands are always looking for ways to stand out from the competition. How about fresh, all-organic food delivered right to your door from Wifey Treats along with a weed gift? Wifey Treats has salads, they have pressed juices, they’ve got gourmet freakin’ paninis, man. Paninis! And don’t forget the weed gifts, of course. You gotta eat anyway, doncha? Por que, as they say in France, no los dos?

www.WifeyTreats.com
Delivery Only (DC)
Gift Hours:
Mon-Thurs 11am-11pm
Fri-Sat 11am-2am
Buying: fresh organic juices, snacks, and meals

REVIEW

FIRST IMPRESSION

The Gentleman loves this to-go restaurant angle. I’m surprised we don’t see more industries getting in on the action. Imagine with me, if you will, a city where you get a free gram with your haircut…a new ride-sharing app where you get a free doobie with every trip…an ounce of primo when you sign a new lobbying firm to expand your lucrative fracking operations on to Civil War memorial sites…hmmm. These are pretty good ideas. Forget everything I just said! No wait, you can use them, ok, but you gotta give me 10%. Gross, of course. Who do you think you’re talking to? Okay 8%. Put ‘er there. Pleasure doin’ business with you.

WEDDING CAKE WEED

CHARACTERISTICS

Fresh juice and hot sammies are all well and good, but the Gentleman is a single-issue voter and that issue, of course, is the weed. Wifey Treats provided some of their Wedding Cake flowers to review. Wedding Cake is a cross of Classic Cookies (aka GSC) and Cherry Pie. The nugs are a deeper green with a few brown hairs jutting out, light trichome coverage, and proper density- not so loose you’re left looking in the grinder asking where all your bud went and not so tight a cheap grinder could break some teeth- but it does show undesirable signs of compression, so packaging could be improved. The nose, however, is top shelf all the way, pungent and bold, rich and earthy with a strong compliment of spice and a slight undercurrent of dark berries…I know I’ve got a winner when I keep opening the jar for a sniff. These flowers are a heavy hitter. While the smoke itself was easy, even flavorful, my lungs were tapping out halfway through the morning’s half-gram joint.

EFFECTS

Potent, too. Wifey Treats’ Wedding Cake puts me in a fantastic cartoon princess kinda mood. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the couch has grown giant wobbly eyes and started talking through it’s cushion-lips but that doesn’t freak me out at all, I love discussing post-modern expressionism with Chaise. Plus she’s gonna help me make a dress for the ball! Ok, maybe not that psychoactive, but if I hadn’t had a dirty chai, I’d surely be sprawled across the couch hunting digital animals in Red Dead’s gorgeous landscapes like I did on Saturday after a couple bong-loads. I haven’t even finished the story which I need to do to unlock more things to hunt but it’s so soothing, even meditative, to take my horse and fuck off in one of the remote areas of the map to shoot cougars, bears, moose, whatever comes my way, really, and then strut around St Denis like Mr. Burns in my gorilla vest and gopher loafers.

With some caffeine, I can still think in a straight line after smoking this Wedding Cake and the intense mood boost makes me even more productive. I spend a lot of mental energy fighting off bad vibes and intrusive thoughts. When I can get them to JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY I’M WELL AWARE OF YOUR FEELINGS ON THE MATTER THANK YOU I get a lot more done with less effort. So even though it’s heavily psychoactive, your Antediluvian personally finds it useful during the hours of that bright, accursed orb’s dominion (hissssss!), but if you are of thin-blood, you might want to wait until after dusk has settled to join your fellow night-creatures in revelry. I mean you should wait til you’re finished with your chores to get high if you have a low tolerance in case you don’t speak vampire (hissssss!)

GENTLEMAN APPROVED

The Gentleman digs Wifey Treats’ ambitious, innovative approach to Initiative 71 as much as this delicious Wedding Cake flower gift sample which is available today for you to get!!! If you want healthy snacks, meal, and juices, which I know you do cuz you’re all so super into being healthy all the time which is good cuz then you can have a rigorous sex life (raaaar!), and you also want weed, cuz you’re here on my sweet-ass website (thank you!!!), then you should definitely give Wifey Treats a go. They do catering too! And please remember to sign up for my awesome newsletter, thank you!