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Welcome!
Let Gentleman Toker be your Guide to Cannabis in Washington, DC! I've spent the past year hunting through the wide selection of marijuana available in our Nation's Capital following the passage of Initiative 71 to help you find the very best. And write about slime monsters. All views presented here are my own to help out my fellow patients and misanthropic lycanthropes. Ok, ok, but there are rules! Pay attention!
- I’m a Gentleman, dammit, not a Doctor! You should consult a physician for all medical advice.
- Silly Rabbit, Twax is for Adults 21+ in DC! You need to be of legal age to use cannabis.
- THERE IS ONLY ZUUL. The only legal way for recreational cannabis to transfer hands in DC is by sharing, it can not be purchased.
- I'm also one of the three people in DC who is not a Lawyer. Like, seriously, super serious, if you need legal advice, talk to my friends at Kinner & McGowan, they specialize in cannabis law.
- Don't roll cigarette tobacco into the joint. That's gross, dude.
Good? Then c’mon in, let me show you around.
Tre OG (Cloud 9)
When I was a kid, I got bullied a lot, obviously. I remember going home to ask my dad how to respond to all the mean things people would say to me and he told me, “Son, if these guys called you a tree, would that make you a tree?”…
Chem OG (DC TeaPad)
So I was at the bar the other night (cuz there’s no where for stoners to congregate without worry of raids. Plus, I remember very clearly from when we could, they were total sausage fests) and this cute girl is eavesdropping a bit and sidles up to the conversation I…
Purple Headband (Diamond City Delivery)
Today’s gift selection from I71 delivery & pick-up fave Diamond City Delivery includes the Purple Headband flowers pictured above along with Glookies, Pineapple Mango Kush, High School Sweetheart, Fortune Cookies, Lemon Chem, and Platinum Cookies. You can visit Diamond City on the web or schedule your appointment via text at 202-509-9624. Check out…
Pineapple Bubba Kush (Dope City)
Above you’ll find today’s gift selection from I71 delivery & pick-up fave Dope City Supreme. If you’re looking for serious potency, ask about their Platinum Widow and Silver Kush gifts. Oh! If you need some walking-around joints, check out Dope City’s DC 5 Pack. Get a dozen and stash em in your bug-out…
Diesel Glue (Bagged Buds)
In further evidence that we are living in the classiest timeline, today college football champion Clemson Tigers were invited to our fair city to dine at the White House, but since the cooking staff is furloughed, Russia’s Bottom Bitch served up a platter of Wendy’s and McDonald’s instead. GASP! How…
Visit PuffPuff DC!
Hope y’all enjoyed the snow, cuz it sounds like we’re in for another round later this week! Aargh. The only good things about snow are hot chocolate and snuggling up with someone you like. Other than that it’s just extra unpaid shoveling and no one will deliver pizza. Or weed…
Runtz (DC TeaPad)
Stock up on flowers now before the snow gets here! As always, our friends at I71 delivery fave DC TeaPad have got exactly what you need to stay extra-toasty this weekend. No, not Snuggies. That is a fabulous idea, though, ten points for Hufflepuff! I meant they have these tasty Runtz…
True OG- Pink Rabbit Collective
Oooh, I got a goodie from the wayback bin for you guys, today! Have a listen to Starsailor’s 2005 opus On the Outside. Super solid all around, full of melodies and harmonies and such, you’ll like it. FYI, I have updated this post to remove the offensive jokes about metal enthusiasts,…
DC Marijuana Legalization Update 1/9/19
Good afternoon buzz, my friends. This is Cliff Biffington, real life reporter dude (check my LinkedIn, baby) with an important update on the status of marijuana legalization in the District. Well, I don’t know how important it is, really, but you might as well read about it here on my…
MPX Grandaddy Purp Vape Cart
The Gentleman’s first review of 2019 is gonna be this Grandaddy Purp vape cart from a new Maryland processor, MPX (short for Melting Point Extracts). Yayyyy! So many reasons to be excited. The absolute dumpster fire that was 2018 is over, for one. Last year I got kicked out of…